Just had a conversation with my W over the phone. It was rather a bitter exchange of words. Christmas is celebrated in Mexico with a dinner in X-Mas Eve; last night we had 10 guests (including a little baby) which made our table full with 12 people smiling and just having a good time… we put our little "happy family" faces for a while and it was actually a joy until late at night (or rather early in the morning)- a couple with whom we are very good friends stayed that late I knowing that this is not their first marriage I asked them what is like to divorce. Instead of answering he asked me a direct question: "Is either you or C… seeing someone else? I broke down and started weeping… later found out he was sure it was my W: his previous wife cheated on him and he still can't forget or forgive. I don't want to be like that. If I have to let go I will, I am probably a chicken s**t but I don't enjoy suffering.<P>Today W's face was long; she was longing for OP, wanting to go there & take my d to play with OP's d (same age- 7). I had to go out for a few minutes & took my d with me, we came back only after 10 minutes and W was gone. She beeped me a little while ago to see if a friend who will be visiting has arrived yet. I couldn' hide neither my sadness nor my bitterness, I told her "it's about feelings, remember? (her own words) thank you for a wonderful Christmas". She hanged up on me. My d is playing with a neighbor and I am by myself trying to cheer up, listening to stupid romantic old songs and just hanging in. Can't even go out because I am waiting to see IF this friend comes… not the first time either that I wait for somebody while she is with OP. What I told her was a big LB and I'm not sure I give a F**K, I give up… probably… this is the saddest X-Mas ever.<P>Alex<P>------------------<BR>Live and learn

{{{{{{{{{{<B>Alex</B>}}}}}}}}}},<BR>{{{{{{{{{{<B>Alex</B>}}}}}}}}}},<BR>{{{{{{{{{{<B>Alex</B>}}}}}}}}}},<BR>{{{{{{{{{{<B>Alex</B>}}}}}}}}}},<BR>{{{{{{{{{{<B>Alex</B>}}}}}}}}}},<P>It's going to be OK...<P>A hell of a day for you...<P>We're all hving problems with our spouses leaving... mine left 7:30 AM today and I will be without the kids too until 8:00 AM tomorrow... <P>It's really hard...<P>Know we suffer together...<P>Miserly loves company...<P>I listen to my songs... to get me through it all... going to try and call it an early night... <P>Merry Christmas (think of the really meaning... instead of what happened) <P>Jim

{{{{{{{{{{{{Alex}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Lori

Alex,<P>Sorry you had a really bad Christmas - mine sucked eggs, too.<P>All we can do is one thing - be 100% resolved and etermined that no matter how - we will NEVER experience a Christmas like that ever again. I promised that to myslef yesterday - NEVER again.<P>Try to vent as much of this negative feeling as you can. Thatis what I am doing and when the new years starts I will be making some attitude adjustments for sure.<P>Life is meant for way more than this.....!<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

I'm so sorry Alex. This was probably the hardest Christmas for just about everyone here on MB. The good news is that we DID get through it. It's over now. This time next year, we will be in a better, happier place. I promise!!

Alex,<P>I'm so sorry. The holidays can be so painful. <P>Only you can decide if it's time to give up. Let is all out, Alex. Give it over to God. He will help you to forgive and foget. <P>Saying a prayer for you.<P>Cheryl

Alex,<P>I'm sorry I didn't see this thread sooner. I was too caught up in my own misery to reply.<P>Our W's are sick. At least mine is. The sickness is self -obsession. MY NEEDS... MY NEEDS... MY NEEDS. F your needs what about mine!!!! What about our D's needs for a two parent family unit. <P>That doesn't matter all that matters to them is filling that void inside them with that OP.<P>Have you seen a councilor?<BR>Are you taking anti-dep meds? I am welbutrin.<BR>In fact I have to pause to take my evening doseage. I'm back.<P>Right now the only real expectation I have for my W, is to cause me more pain. I'm almost at the threshold. She thinks she wants out. HA fat chance I'm not giving up on her.<P>Hang in there man, the otherside of this is a better place. Or so I've been told, by people on both sides.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Alex,<BR>I know exactly how you feel. I have been so miserable wondering how this could happen. Everyone who knows my W and I thought we were almost perfect together. It really does seem to be about their needs and it really hurts but this site has given me hope. Just try to be positive and keep your head up. <BR>