hello all, i am new here and this is my story. H and i have been together 10 years, have 2 children and NO communication. He is in the military and we are stationed overseas. (I will leave it at that) He is currently deployed and about a month ago i found a voicemail on his cell from a woman. so i call the number and she said we are just friends nothing to worry about. 4 days later she calls me back and said that she had a one night stand with my H. she was trying to make peace with God to work on HER marriage and felt that i needed to know. so i call my H's command (not knowing what else to do) b/c H isn't really contactable right now. so they call the command where H is and the Sgt Major calls me from the location. I talk with him, he talks with H. H is denying the incident saying that all he was doing was trying to be a friendly ear and help this woman understand HER H's position in a marriage. This woman started making advances towards him and he felt uncomfortable so he told her to F off. hadn't spoken with her since. Now she is saying that the incident was in Feb some time. so it has been a while. the message i found was from early Mar. My H is like if i was hiding something i would have erased the message before i left for deployment. SGT Major seems to feel that MY H is telling the truth and he says that women in our area "make things like this up" all the time. I told Sgt M and my H that if she did make this up i want to press charges. My H is not happy with that b/c of the repercussions it could have on his career. but my thing is wouldn't it help to shed some light on things? i REALLY want to believe my H but our lack of communication over the past year is just making me wonder. he comes home next week and we are going to talk and see what happens. my heart says that he is telling me the truth but my head is just playing games with me and i just don't know how to handle the situation. any suggestions?

Welcome to marriagebuilders. Whatever the story is, this site will help you. It is miserable when you are going through this, and must be especially so when you can't talk to your husband.

So start reading about the program here. It is very important to be calm when you confront him, and that is hard to do. But people here have been through the same thing you have been through, and come out with a better marriage. Stick with us.