hello.
i'm new here so have patience with me.i've been with my husband for8 years. we also have a 12 year old problem child who thinks shes 25.i just found out my husband has been cheating on me, the only reason he confessed is he hit answer on his cell phone instead of ignore and i got to listen to his whole date with whoever this ***** is. let me give you a little background and maybe you all can help me to understand why he would risk everything we have for someone he says is not all that.i got pregnant from a 1 nite stand with him when i was 16, he had 2 other children already by 2 different girls. i always wanted to be with him and eventually took him from the ***** he was with at the time and we started seeing each other, began to care and then love each other. we moved in together and not long after that i caught him trying to get with some young girl(who wasnt at all interested in him) who all his friends were after.we got into a fist fight that ended up with me getting beat up pretty badly, but stupid me, i couldnt bring myself to make him leave, i loved him so much, the girls mom called me after that to tell me he was still calling her telling them i was a ***** and a slut and our daughter was not his child.(fat chance, i have a blood test that says she is)but my confidence was gone ,i was miserable,my pride was at stake so i made him leave.i cried for days and didnt eat or come out of my room.one of my girlfriends called him and asked him what was up and he said he always had his doubts about our daughter and he had his eye on someone else now, well that was it. i had sex with someone close to him, and made sure the other girls mother told him i was out with someone else(but not the sex part)he was at my door within 5 minutes trying to break it down, and calling my house and stalking me at work. so i forgave him.we moved into our own place with our daughter and as far as i know,never cheated on me during that time.(and believe me , i have ways of finding things out. then he got into trouble with the law and got sentenced to 4 years in prison. everything was great but really sad until the horrible day he left. we stayed in each others arms until they took him away from me and he cried in my arms. during the last 4 years i was always faithful i cried all the time, i never went anywhere because he didnt approve, not that i wanted to go without him anyway.all i did was work go see him send him money, listen to him cry about how much he loved me and wanted to be with me and our baby. well we got thru it he was released nov.7 2003 we were so happy, for about 2 months. he started staying out later and later,he had to be forced to do anything with me and the baby,when we did do anything he acted like he couldnt stand to be around me.i know him so well,almost as well as i know myself,we say the same things always,know what the other one will do next,etc...i heard him on his date and confronted him,first he lied and then he tried to justify it and i really confronted him with what i heard and then he told me he slept with at least1 other person.im devastated. i wanted him to leave,then i wanted to get back at him then like a worm i begged him not to leave me.im so ashamed of being so weak i cant imagine being without him,he cried and said he was sorry that it wasnt me it was him(whatever)and then i attacked him. he held me down and just cried and said sorry for hurting me.he left and our daghter found out and threatened to slit her wrists.we are supposed to try to talk later and work things out, but whats to work out? i believe a cheater will just keep cheating but i cant let him go, not after everything we have been thru.by the way, we have been married 4 years.

Welcome to marriagebuilders. It is a good place to be for support and information.

Let's see, the best predicter of future behavior is past behavior. I think your husband may be a serial cheater. You cannot change him, unless he wants to change.

However to can change yourself. Stick with us, and read all you can here. Lots of people are going through infidelity.

its me again. he says he was in a bar waiting on some friends and was just talking to a group of different people when i was listening on the phone.as for him confessing to being unfaithful, he said he picked up some girl walking down the street and she gave him a b.j.he swore on his kids and his mother that that was the only time he has slipped in the last 6 years. i asked him can i trust you anymore? he said yes. i was always accusing him of cheating even if i had no reason to. maybe i pushed him to?im willing to put this aside and go on with our lives and try not to constantly check up on him,i feel he hates that and 99.99 % of the time i found nothing.besides, i never seen him so remorseful and heartbroken. he could have lied about that one, i had no clue, so that counts for something doesnt it?