our marriage has been great since we met/got married. i cant find words to describe our wonderfull weve been together. but since i found out shes been lieing to me and keeping stuff from me i dont now what to think/or do about it. shes in the military and has been gone for about 2 months. ever since she left to overseas our marriage has gone downhill. how did this happen? i found out that shes been keeping things from me and lieing about stuff. i found out from some online journals and such that she goes into. she admitted to everything after i brought it up. what i found and saw was that shes been getting to close to her friends/guys. to close to think nothing is going on. shes doesnt communicate with me anymore, only about a couple of sentences a week and when i ask her stuff shes think im attacking her and she always says this "what u think im cheeting on u?" ive lost some trust in her but shes does nothing to make it better. what can i do or am i overreacting?

pics,

Are you in the military too?

My wife and I are both in the Air Force.
We have both had affairs. I think that the military lends itself to affairs more easily than a lot of careers. Plenty of time to be alone far from home with the opposite sex. I don't think you are overreacting. You have sensed something wrong, found out she has been lying and keeping secrets from you.....you might be under-reacting.

What did you say when she asked if you thought she was cheating?

What has she admitted to?

How long have the two of you been married?

weve been married for about 2 yrs. our annecersary is coming up in july. when ever she says "what u think im cheating on u?" i say no i want to now waht u r up to cuase u dont talk to me anymore. and thats all she does/says nothing or i dont now. she wont talk to me anymore. shes been admitting to getting to close to her friends/guys to close not to notice there is something going on. she says that all thats going on but ever since i found out shes been keeping things from me/lieing i dont now if i should believe her anymore. i also found this out recently. she got a bladder infection, when she pees it hurts and blood comes out. she got that once before with me before she went over seas. im afraid out marriage is not gonna last cuase she wont do antyhing to make it better. she keeps saying she cant live without me but if thats so then why is she doing this to us.

yes ive been in the military before but i havent and will never do anything to hurt my wife like that. i dont even go out with my friends so i wont miss her when she calls but ive gotten no calls at all. well ive gottena few but she only calls when i tell her to do so, she never calls besides that.

<small>[ June 14, 2004, 01:39 PM: Message edited by: thepics ]</small>

When is she coming back?

Do you know anyone over there with her. I am assuming she is in the Middle East.
She has admitted being "too" close to male friends so I would ask her to define what "too close" is. Try not to be accusatory. Being overseas can be lonely and there are a lot of people overseas that are in the same boat as your wife. When I was overseas married people hung out together because they assumed it was safe. Friendships develop in that environment quickly and lines can be crossed. Find out why your wife feels she might have crossed that line.

Let her know you love her and that you are there for her.

God Bless

shell b back in 10 months shes only been over there 2 months so far and has a 1 yr tour. she in koroa(south) weve discussed this matter a few times and shes has made a promises to me. it was she wont do anything like that anymore cause she doesnt want to hurt me like that again.
but should i believe her, she kept/lied to me before? i now how life in the military is and all u got is your firends. but why not communicate with me? why keep me at a distance and why not worry about the problem at hand instead of going out with her friends? we used to b so close when she was in school. she would contact me every chance she got but it all changed when she went over seas. i heard this frase before when i was in the military over seas too,"what happens over there stays over there". i just never thought i would b the one to find out what really is going on over there.

Is she at Osan, Kunsan or Youngsan?

I spent a year there too away from my wife and daughter. She'll be getting a mid-tour before long won't she? The way my wife and I worked it was that she came over to see me after 5 months. At the 7 month period I took my mid-tour and then only had 3 months left.It just splits up the time into more manageable bites.

She won't do anything like what again? It seems like she is being a little cryptic. She did something that she considered wrong, something that hurt you, she doesn't want to do it again but she won't tell you what it is? If it walks like a duck and sounds like a duck.......chances are its a freakin' duck. How much you believe and trust her is up to you. You know her better than anyone so trust your gut on this one.

She obviously feels like she has done something wrong. Try and make is safe for her to confide in you.

pics,

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