I have been married for over 15 years. My wife had a brief emotional affair with my best friend. My wife and I were with my best friend and his family quite often. Our children are very close.

I discover the affair the same day that they first met in private. Since then the affair has ended and my wife and I are very much in love. My friend made the decision to stay with his wife. After that decision was made my wife decided to stay with me.

I have several issues addressed that will help me bring closure to the affair and the future with my wife. I am having a hard time resolving the issues in my mind. They are as follows:

1. Should we try to rebuild our relationship with my best friend and his wife? Our children ask about getting together with them quite often.

2. My wife called him while I was at work to help her bring some closure. Should I have a right to have been with her when she called him?

3. Should I have been a part of that phone conversation?

4. He apologized the night that the affair came out in the open. I saw it as an apology that he was taking my wife and told me that he loved me like a brother. Now that it is over between them should I expect him to ask me to forgive him and to aplogize that it even happened and for what he has put me through and admit that it was wrong?

5. My wife kept a diary during the emotional week between the time I became aware of their feelings and the day that it ended (June 1). Do I have a right to see the diary?

6. My wife and friend told each other that they loved each other. Should I expect my wife to retract that statement to him? She had no problem telling me that she was not in love with me.

7. Should I expect my wife to remove all reminders of him in our life? For example his sweatshirt that we still have.

Welcome to marriage builders. Yikes! You do need help. Please copy and post your questions in the General Questions forum. There is more traffic up there, and you will get more help.

I have to go to work, but will post to you later. But one comment - your friend has to be out of your life and out of your wife's life. That is it. Otherwise your marriage cannot recover.

I hate to say this, but the Emotional Affair that she had got really touchy when they told each other that they love each other. That is the point where emotions get really screwed up. Read surviving an affair by Dr. Harley, you'll be glad you did. It was a huge help to me. I was in situation somewhat similar to yours. Hang in there, man.

She is in the emotional fog that is explained in the book. She is still in her own little fantasy. It will take some time of No Contact (NC) from the Other Man (OM) first of all. That must be the starting point and then on to Plan A. It sounds like you all are pretty plugged into the area you are, but I would even consider relocating to another city or state. That may sound drastic, but trust me, that fog is nasty. It will make her lie straight through her teeth to you. Watch out for any type of secret life that she may have hidden from you, cell phone bills, IM on computer, etc...

Be proactive, but don't LB

God Bless