I realy do not know what to do.....I found out on Friday my Husband sleeped with another woman and we or better I lost it, he said he is not inlove with me any more while I was screaming and cant live with me, after the day was nearly over he came home and said it only happend ones and he is worried if we try to work it out it will not work, everytime I ask a question he seems to with drawI know sh works in one of the offices he looks after and asked on Monday his area manager he does not want to look after the offices and today there had a hand over per video confrence. But Iam screaming insite! He keeps saying I have changed and Iam not me no more that is ok I know that myself and I brough alot of untrusting due to my first marridge into this marridge, I know I have to change that, but does that give you the go ahead to slep with another person, he says she is nothing, ment nothing.......everytime I want him to hold me he pulls back so I asked him and he said he can not understand why I would want to hold or kiss him after what he has done. He is ashamed angry and discussed with himself and thats why it feels wrong me wanting to hug him! Iam at a loss, I love him so much and he says he loves me to.......help! Sorry about spelling! Iam german
Thank you!

sorry you have to be here.. but welcome, you are at the right place if you want to rebuilt your marriage. Everything your husband says right now, take it with a grain of salt.. this is what we call the "FOG" here. He is blind right now. Your anger was normal, all of us BS go through it, then you will come to accept the A and want to work things out.. thats why you're here..

I suggest you start reading this site and start on Plan A which will not be easy, but most of us get through to it. You will get a lot of support so hang in there. I know you're in a lot of pain, but it will be easier as time goes by.

big hug from Brussels

Thank you! Where do I go to start reading and where do I find plan A? Thank you so much!
Maz

Plan A is when you try to fill your H's emotional needs. There will be a lot of talk.. that helps him get out of the fog. It seems like you're already doing it because he feels remorseful, some of our spouses are not even there yet.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> so there is so much hope for you marriage.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5059_qa.html

I would start here... if the link doesn't work I suggest you start from the homepage... www.marriagebuilders.com and click on infidelity and it starts from there.. keep reading, it will give you great indication why...and how you can built and affair proof marriage.. but from then.. read the begining.. then in the same site Plan A will show up. I'm going to look for the direct link if you do not find it.

Welcome to marriagebuilders. You are very early in this, so it is a good thing that you found us. Right now, your feelings will lead you to do the wrong thing. Please try to calm down and not yell at your husband (I know that is very hard, but necessary).

Read all the information here. It will really help you.

Click on the link below.

<small>[ June 26, 2004, 10:09 AM: Message edited by: johnh39 ]</small>