</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by mw:
If I decide to phone, it'll be tomorrow but I'm terrified to do it, terrified of his reaction and terrified of the consequences.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">mw, Like WAT said, you should be more terrified of what happens if you DON'T. Are you terrified of losing your H? Because that is much more likely to happen if help them hide their secret and don't expose it. Your H will get over being mad, your marriage WON'T get over this affair if you don't do everything in your power to END IT.

Exposure to spouses, friends, family is one of the single most effective methods of ending the affair. The affair can't survive for long when it is exposed to the light of day. They scatter like cockroaches when exposed. So do yourself a favor, mw, EXPOSE!

pps.
what awesome words you are receiving and we all say the same thing. say a prayer before you make the call.....ask God to direct your words. I told Ow's H I would rather he not contact me any longer but if I had a question could I call him? don't get entangled in any of the other crap....only yours....and another thing I do is not read all the horror stories here....only ones that pertain to my question.....sometimes you get wrapped up in other people's "stuff"....I only come once in awhile now to help others like you and maybe when I am in a valley

The first time in four days I feel that I something happened that I was in control of.

I CALLED OWH!!!!!!

I talked to him briefly at work and told him, he was stunned. He was very quiet. He told me that he wanted to phone me in a little bit. He phoned back a couple of hours later and we talked for an hour. He seems like such a wonderful man, I couldn't help but wonder, why did she cheat on him with my a------- husband.

He wants to meet me next weekend. Is this a good idea?

He said that he wants to give her a chance to tell him about the affair instead of confronting her that he knows. He is taking her on a date on Friday and is going to ask her. He said that if she keeps lying, he'll expose her.

I feel really good about telling him. I wouldn't want him to suffer not knowing any longer.....

I appreciate all the encouragement, I knew in my heart that it was the right thing to do but without everyone's support I may have chickened out.....

I was so shaky before I called him....I said a prayer.....like a miracle I was rational, clear and not the blubbering person of late....

The emotional rollercoaster continues, part of me wants her to leave her husband to be with mine so I can get on with living...Part of me wants H back....I'm so incredibly lonely, no one to talk to after kids go to bed and getting lonely for human touch and quite horny too....Any suggestions....I am entering my prime, turning 36 on the 22nd.

Mag

Mag, THANK YOU LORD! Keep saying those prayers that you trust God to lead you where you need to be. Put your trust in him totally, and those miracles will keep happening. You did a great job, I would not however meet w/OMH!!!!. Baggage gets in the way of your recovery. You need to start digging into marriage builders top to bottom after the kids are in bed and absorb it like a sponge! Now it is OMH time to do the work, not you. Bow out. I know how much you feel sorry for him and want to help. My psychologist said absolutely not to me when I asked. She said, "you have your own problems, don't divert your attention to helping them....take the time and work on getting your husband home". Read Read Read!

Good girl, Mag. You've done the single best thing possible to start the end of this nightmare.

Now when you read posts of others hesitating, please chime in with your experience. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Do you meet him? An equally tough decision. Why does he want to meet? Do you have evidence he needs?

I'm unaware of any specific guidance here, so perhaps common sense prevails. Meeting him could be beneficial in that you both get to put a human face on this and you get a chance to print out some stuff from this site and hand it to him.

But you if do plan to meet him, arrange it in a public place and keep your guard up - the last thing you need now is an affair of your own.

Please consider starting a new post on QGII with your news.

WAT

Good job, Mag! You are a good woman. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />