I'm new here to this post not by choice but because I feel I need questions answered or at the least advice from someone who knows what I'm feeling. To start I found out a month ago my husband cheated on me he told because he said he wanted to clear the air so we can really work on our marriage. He said he only had sex once with this girl and that she was now accusing him of being the father of her unborn child. I forgave him and said to myself everyone deserves a second chance right so that is what I did. Last nite my H and a friend of ours went for gas and were gone for two hours I knew something was wrong in the gut of my stomache and when he called he said the car died in the middle of nowhere and thats what took so long I felt awful for accusing him of that and said my sorries and I needed to trust him more. My sister then called yelling at him on the phone and cussing and I asked him what was up and he said I got caught. The friend is my sisters lover because she is supposed to be lesbian but she was sleeping with my husband and she told my sister. I'm hurt and frustrated and all I can think about is him and why he did this twice why We have only been married 4 yrs and I'm 23 with two children should I try to work this out take space and time or should I move on while I can. I love him alot and I would hate to see my children grow up with a father but how do I trust him again when he lied twice is this marriage worth saving


P.S. sorry about the run overs I'm jus trying to let it all out and not keep it in ebbscynthia@hotmail.com *sigh* [LIST] <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

You have a lot of emotions going on right now. Don't make any decisions. You said you've been lurking. You know that many people here have been right in your own shoes.

When I first got there, I was told 6 months, to make my own decision.

This is a fair amount of time to figure out how you feel, what steps you are both willing to make to repair the damage.

Tell us more.

Don't put in one post, and try to deal with it on your own. You'll find a wealth of support here.

Tell us what you and H are doing to end contact with the OW.

Tell us what H is trying to do to end contact.

Thanx for the reply it means alot to me to know people know how I feel and you and other people on this site have some of the best answers because you've been through what I'm going through and you know what works and what did not so again thank you. My H and I spoke most recently and he said he is willing to prove to me that I can trust him but he needs to work out his own issues and mistakes before he trys to work it out with me. H is looking into counseling and another job because where he works now he could possibly come in contact with OW and I've already made it clear that if he wants to work it out with me there can be no contact with her at all and he said he understood. Now if he really means that I'm not sure, I'm not sure of anything he says IS THAT NORMAL? I'm doing better today not as great as I wished I could be but it helps to vent. The OOW is due Nov 2 so we will see if her baby is his also. Crossing fingers that it isn't cause I'm not sure how I would handle that yet the best I can i guess. Once again Thank you for the advice it helped! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

cynthia - Welcome to marriagebuilders. You have come to the right place.

You might want to post on the general questions forum, as there is more traffic there.

Also the pregnancy/child forum can help you figure out what to do if it turns out that there is a child born.