Recently my husband has been talking to a woman quite a bit that he works with. The friendship started at work and progressed in playing poker (with another male co-worker) at each other's houses. I am a little suspicious because she calls him quite frequently on his cell and at our house (when I am conviently not there). About a month ago he had the group over for a night of poker and she came first and left last. And most recently, the group was over again, again she came first and left last. As my suspicion has gotten the best of me, I decided to head downstairs to where they play poker to see what was happening (after the other male co-worker left). I found the two of them pretty cozy on the couch next to one another, I didn't catch them "doing" anything or having their hands on eachother, but I would consider the distance between them was rather close. I then stated to the both of them that I am uncomfortable with them sitting that close on a couch together, they both just looked shocked (not sure if that means that were busted, shocked that I would think that or just drunk). The woman proceeded to leave and state that "he understands me and we just talk, he talks about you all the time and loves you". I then had a talk with my husband who told me that she has become a good friend who he can talk to. She is having marrital problems and he talks to her about our problems as well. He says nothing has happened between them, and that the only feelings he has for her are ones to help her. I just do not agree with their friendship. Isn't there a point when a friendship between a male and female crosses a point? Based upon the above statement, what are your thoughts on this- is he cheating or attempting to cheat? What should my next steps be?

yep. Just becaue it may not have yet become physical, he is giving to her and getting from her things he should only give and get from you. This is called and "Emotional Affair". Click on the link below for how to recover. Many of the links sort of assume the affair is physical, but the recovery process for an emotional or physical affair is the same.

Warning! Warning! Warning!

Your husband and this "friend" are in very dangerous territory and are proceeding along the most predictable path to a physical affair.

I agree with John, it is already emotional.

Read up on Plan A and implement it ASAP. And ask your husband to give up his poker nights with his pals, unless she isn't included.

Nip this in the bud and work toward making your marriage better, together.

~ Snow

Yep, he's cheating.

She is discussing her crappy marriage with him and he is talking about YOUR marriage (she claims he says he is in love with you.....he shouldn't be revealing any thing about your intimate connection with HER)

Read the Infedelity section on MarriageBuilders

Notice closely the part on How Infedelity Begins

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5059_qa.html


Your H is somewhere on that road.

i wouldnt like this one little bit either. i agree with whats already been said.start with plan a immediatly. and if he doesnt want to give up his poker nites, you play too!

I like shelly's idea. JOIN the poker night rather than have her specifically excluded, if at all possible.

Badger, spouses should be included on these co-ed poker parties & yes, this is the start of an EA; I know, my H had one with a stripper! Now, he doesn't go to clubs anymore, but he picks out the single (or married without husband around) women at work seminars & talks/emails, etc with them. I cannot attend all the seminars with him to babysit, but at least you can join your H in social activities (better idea to drop this poker group and start a friends card group of couples). Men, any suggestions on these work seminars (both in & out of town?). We have started MC with SH, so hope will change. Thanx & keep us posted!