Well my plan B was working well and my said that she was on her way back but found out she is pregnant. Can you believe no protection and she is a nurse too. I told her that I could not stay married to her with that other man in the picture the rest of my life. I talked to him about adopting the child so I could save my marriage but he does not want to do that. My wife is full or remorse now and realizes what kind of man I really am and she said that she will regret loosing me the rest of her life.Is it possible to stay married with another man's child in the picture. Has anyone done this before. I told her she would also have to do alot of character work to find out why she goes through this cycle of self destruction and that she could not have any emotional connection with this man It would have to be only some guy she had a baby with. But I told her I do not think you are capable of doing this. And maybe in a couple of years maybe we could get back together because then it would be like marrying a woman who already had a child. For now I guess I will consider it over and move on and let her deal with this pile of dog poop she is in. Funny thing is, is that we still have this incredible bond between us and a good friendship. I know other would be revengeful but what would that accomplish we still have 2 children together. Need help
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Swimming, I am in almost the same spot you are. Except my WW doesn't really like me too much any more. I told her I would have been able to raise the OC as my own, if I believed that she wanted to be married to me. I told her she would have to have NC with the OM forever.

She has been talking about nothing but seperation, so I do not think we are gonna stay together. I do not know if I would be able to give her a second chance. The magic 8-ball has not been much help either.

I think pops did stay together with an OC. See if you can rustle him up.

I am gonna start a new thread for me, cause I am down and out.

Swimming alone,
I replied to you on the Pregnancy Board.
I will be reading and posting today.
HO

my wife said that she will not be able to not have contact with him because he wants to be involved with the child

He needs to be un-involved!

well being uninvolved is not going to happen. she has feelings for him but loves me and the man wants to be a part of his life. she wishes it would not have happened because she wants to be with me. she said last night that our marriage will end not because of our love for each other but because of the situation. I do not think I could handle it

Being involved may or may not happen. Make sure he is hit with...he can be involved AND pay Child Support OR not be involved AND NOT pay Child Support. He can't have it any other way. See what breaks with that.

And post in the Prenancy Board...there are a number of guys there who are or were in your situation and have recovered their marriage.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by swimming alone:
<strong> well being uninvolved is not going to happen. she has feelings for him but loves me and the man wants to be a part of his life. she wishes it would not have happened because she wants to be with me. she said last night that our marriage will end not because of our love for each other but because of the situation. I do not think I could handle it </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She wants her cake and wants to eat is too! Of course it is at your expense.

U ok with this?

L.

swimming

if you can work through this then you deserve a medal. I dont think I could, I'm having enough trouble now just dealing with what I have learned.
I know it must be very painful, I cant understand how a mom or dad especially can break up a family without first trying to resolve any M issues.
Selfishness?? Lord knows.
Well I hope you can do what you need to do.
all the best