Hi, Student,<P>Dunc's been keeping me filled in on you. IMHO, you're comin' along . I can tell by the fact that you're expressing anger at xH for acting like an @ss! Sounds from here (which I think someone suggested) like there was an ego problem there.<P>I don't feel you owe anybody an explanation for anything. I like JL's "married too young" response. I'd bet many of us *were* married too young (in retrospect ) - those marital growing pains can be killers. I know ours were. We were lucky. And it takes two to make it go. When the time - and the person - is right, you will share what you need to. Many people "of a certain age" WILL understand the concept of making mistakes & learning from them. Anyone who doesn't understand that either 1) hasn't ever made a mistake, or 2) doesn't THINK they've ever made a mistake... either way, not someone I'd want to get serious with! <P>D99 - welcome back - you're right, I did end my marriage (my 'first' one) - but we're in a new one now, and it's the best one I could ever imagine. I'm sorry you still feel so much anger about that.<P>------------------<BR>~suse~<BR>Rome wasn't built in a day.<BR>

suse,<BR>hi there! I'm glad you two are doing so well! Thanks for your encouragement. This thread has helped me alot. Thanks to both of you for reaching out to me!!! <P>JL and Eric32, part of the problem with saying something vague is that this question is very often asked by a person long, long before anything gets serious. So the dilemma becomes, what can I say to protect myself without being considered a liar later? Very delicate, is it not? I've just come up with another answer though: "I'm sorry. I don't think we know each other well enough to discuss it." That is honest and not quite as rude as saying "none of your business", while still leaving the door open to discuss it in the future if I felt like it.

TheStudent<BR>I LOVED your answer to "the question". I think I will use it myself. So many people ask "WHY". It really gets on my nerves! Like I would spend 3months telling all the details to begin with. What kills me is the people that ask are the ones you barely know to begin with. Thanks for giving me a great response to the rude askers. By the way, I just graduated last Saturday. The one good thing that has happened this year. I'm very proud of myself for doing something possitive during such a negative time in my life. I sent my ex an invitaion to my graduation but he didn't show up. At least he knows that I'm doing something possitive. Hang in there, the end result will all be worth it. Although I would have loved to have had my picture made with my husband with my cap and gown, at least I did it. I realize that school took up alot of my time and helped keep me busy, now that it is behind me I hope I can cope with all the extra time on my hands with H no longer in my life.

Hurtingtoo,<BR>Congratulations!! Yes, going to school and graduating at a time like this is quite a worthy accomplishment. Treat yourself to something really fun and exciting!! A nice trip or a little doo-dad you've had your eye on. <P>Have you thought about doing some volunteer work to keep yourself busy? I got a dog awhile back, which helped me immensely. I don't feel quite so alone with her, and she gives me a nice reason to look forward to coming home. Plus, you can meet some nice people on your walks and outings to the park.

Hey there,<P>Makes sense to me!<P>Listen, I'm gonna stick my neck out here and pose that you've got everything you need within your personal inventory to make a good future. Wanna make a list, you engineer you?<P>Intellect.<BR>Passion.<BR>Intuition.<BR>Courage.<BR>Compassion.<BR>Tenacity.<BR>Honor.<BR>Rationale.<BR>-> (insert your list here)<P>Seems like a pretty healthy left AND right lobe. <P>Woman, this is a test. And, if I were your prof, I'd think you're progressing just fine. Nobody gets a perfect score in this curriculum. I'd suggest you're way out there on the bell curve, however.<P>Keep workin' at it. You're doing fine!

*<p>[This message has been edited by Doug (edited December 29, 1999).]