i found out a couple of months ago that my wife was showing herself in a very sexual way alone on the web cam. she went as far to give one of these guys our home phone number she says it wasn't cheating but i disagree what do you think

Let's not call it cheating, let's call it: "painful to me and damaging to our relationship". However, you can recover from this the same way you would recover from an affair, without actually calling it one. Click on the link below to find out how.

well in my opinion its CLOSE but not exactly cheating yet.

Bit like getting undressed to hop into bed with a lover but not there yet.

It is however VERY disturbing behaviour. I think that you are lucky to have caught it at this stage, but I would be wondering if its the first time, hopefully it is.

In any event you & your wife need to sit down and honestly look at why she did this, You may need help with a professional pro marriage cousellor but better now than AFTER an affair
believe me!!

As suggested read all the articles here, ask questions and as was suggested to me, perhaps ask your wife to post here as well. Remember we dont know who you are, its a reasonably safe way to discuss these issues & get ideas and help for both of you.

Go for it now and start working on your M, but remember your W may be very reluctant to talk at first. Make her feel safe and let her know no yelling or abuse, you want to work with her to make a good M. You might both have to forgive each other for the past.