I'm a new member to the group and would like to introduce myself. My name is Heather and I'm 26 years old. I've been married to Rich for 2 years but we've been together for 8. I just recently, and by that, I mean 1 month ago....I found out that my husband and my sister...yes...my sister have been sleeping together on-and-off for the last 4 years.
To be perfectly honest, I never really reacted. I didn't cry, I didn't scream...I didn't throw him out...I didn't do anything. You see, this is the story......

I am a manic depressive....on medications....and battling a very hard mental illness. It has been very hard on our entire family. We having been to many doctors and tried many different medications....which didn't help. It was putting a major strain on our marriage. My sister was always with us...as we live (used to live) in the same town and have kids the same age. She was always there for me, helping me fight the battle. She was at my house everyday.

Well, apparently, when she wasn't at my house or when I was gone.....she was telling my husband that I was a lost cause, that I wasn't ever going to get any better, that he needed someone to take care of him and his business, that he needed someone to love him, that he was just killing himself and that no matter how hard he tried....he could just never help me. Two-faced little B*#^$

Needless to say....by the purpose of this group....he fell for her tricks and fell for her. Well, he confided in a mutual friend of ours....and this friend told him that he needed to make up his mind. Well, Rich and I bought a new house....and he was still seeing my sister...which I knew nothing about. His plan was to purchase this house....get me settled....and then leave me for her. As a matter of fact....the morning we moved our stuff....he had went to the store to purchase a part for the lawn mower.......and was at her house instead.

Well, my sister helped us move that day and a friend of mine did too. I had asked Bobby to help because him and Rich could move the furniture Holly and I couldn't lift. Well, Holly and Bobby ended up sleeping together in my living room that night. (What a slut!! My husband that morning....my friend that night!!!) Well, from what my husband said, it just killed him to see them together so he left at 3 am for work instead of 7am and just drove around. He called her on her cell and left a voicemail telling her how much it bothered him. She called him back and told him that he was just going to have to put his plans of leaving me on hold....cause she was going to give Bobby a try for a while.

Well, my husband got really mad and told her that he had flipped his whole life around for her was willing to leave me......but he wasn't waiting for her anymore. He told her to stay away from us...and that if she stepped one foot on our property....he would tell me everything.

Well, little dumb-dumb made the mistake of coming to my house and Rich let her have it. He asked her if she was stupid enough to ruin the rest of her life because the rest of her life was about to end and he admitted everything that happened. She just sat there in her car, listening to him. He told me everything that happened between them...and she wouldn't deny it. So as far as I'm concerned....if she didn't deny it.....she admitted it.

* She called him at work at every break
*She visited him at work
*She told him that I didn't deserve anything that I have and that she would make it her goal to
have it all
*She would be a better mother to my daughter than I ever could be
*He visited her at her house...and lied to me about where he was

Now, I know he is just as guilty as she is.......but what I don't understand is......

I don't want to end my marriage....and I love my husband....very much



I HATE MY SISTER.......and in my opinion.....she died July 20, 2004

Does this make sense?

Nice to meet everyone...

Welcome to marriagebuilders. It is a great place to be under the circumstances.

You should start in Plan A. You can read all about it on the link in my signature line. Sorry this happened with your sister.

The affair probably started out innocently enough through an emotional connection, but then crossed the line.

We also have several bi-polar folks here, so they may join in and post to you.

You might want to post on the general questions forum. There is a lot more traffic there, and you will get more responses.

Actually, if the affair is over, I would NOT suggest starting with Plan A, but with the Recovery Plan .

Kathi

<small>[ September 03, 2004, 01:38 PM: Message edited by: kam6318 ]</small>

This is all so confusing. I'm trying to keep all these plans straight. The recovery plan seems to be more on the right track for me. He has 1000% broke all contact with her. He wants nothing to do with her and I'm sure of it. He tells me everyday that I am the only one he wants and I can tell by looking in his eyes that he is telling the truth.

CM....JMO, but you probably should read up on Plan A and emotional needs. I'm still fairly new, but the question that comes to mind reading your post is "why did he stray from the marriage?". Even in the face of adversity (sadly, your sister) if your marriage is as strong as it can be, he probably would have confided in you the attempts of your sister.

Just a thought and I'm sorry you find yourself here but as Believer said, you found the right place.......LS

I was actually pointed in the direction of the Recovery Plan.....as all ties between my sister and my H have been cut since July 13. I found out about the affair on July 20, but he broke it off with her on the 13th. I'm still trying to get the plans straight, and I'm not sure which one is right for me, but since all ties have been cut, I was told the recovery plan is the right one for me. Is this correct?