Hi all. Looks like I am your newest member. I just celebrated my 7th wedding anniversary, we've been together 8 years. My husband and I just went on what was supposed to be a renewal for us and relaxation vacation. Turns out he decided he'd tell me he had been leading a dual life for 2 years. I trusted and loved this man so much. I am in total shock. I am very lucky though to have some very good friends who have been through similar. I have not read plan a and plan b yet, but they are printed and that is the next thing I am going to do. Just thought I would get this started for now...thank you for listening. I have some ideas of what my next steps are, as he is now with her, supposedly trying to figure out which life he wants.

Welcome to MB infaith.
I have to say, you have so much strength than we usually see on the JFO board. I myself was a frantic mess, I was incoherent most of the first few weeks.

Hats off to you for being able to remove yourself from the chaos of emotions and think logically.

From what you've been reading so far, you see pretty much we've all be there, done that, you can read what works, what drives them away further.

You're doing a great job education yourself, and figuring out your next step.

I'm sorry for your betrayal...I know it hurts. Like nothing else hurts. But keep posting. You'll find a load of support here. It's great you have people close to you that you can reach out to.

Stay strong !!

Hi Faith,

Like I told you in email, week-ends are slow so be patient, Hon.

Once you get your full story composed, go ahead and post it on a new thread.

And what really helps the people who post to support you is if you add an abbreviated story tag line within your profile so it appears at the bottom of every post. That way folks know your status.
_______________________________________________
Here's a good example:

Me BS
H WS
Married 7 years, together 8
No children
Started Plan A: xx/xx/xx
Dated H when he was still married, he lied and said he was divorced
_______________________________________________


Love you T.
Jo

<small>[ September 11, 2004, 11:45 AM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>

Dear inFaith,

Welcome to MB. It is a sad but very helpful place t/b @ this very difficult time in your life. You now have the support and tools of a great bunch here @ MB, please take the time to absorb it all. The reading material (concepts section above, questionnaires, books, phone counseling along with this support board and your personal support group (IC/MC, friends, family, workmates, etc.), will help you cope with the various stages you will encounter on this very strange and often hurtful journey.

In the end, you will survive. The ride w/b rough at times, we call it the 'roller coaster' and the WS are often referred to as coming from the 'mothership' because their characters have changed so something from the unknown. Maybe you will experience pieces of this weirdness, when you do, use the tools at your disposal.

You also have a great personal support. I for one can whole heartedly vouch for Jo, she is great isn't she. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I love her like a sister and we have never personally met, but I can tell you that this lovely lady saved my soul several times, both here on the MB board and on the phone. I know she will do the same for you and then some. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Well, I have gone on long enough. Please keep posting.

Just wondering, what prompted your H to tell you this and what is his state of mind right now?

take care,
L.

infaith -

Welcome to MarriageBuilders. It is a great place to be. I am so glad you found us early in this. I didn't find this place for 4 months after I kicked my WH out on D-day.

Stick with us and we will help and comfort you during this awful time. When I first got here, people told me things would get much better, and I didn't believe they ever would. But things do get better, and you will be happy again.

My H, OW "found out" that he was with his WIFE on vacation. She apparently, according to him who lies like a rug, threatened suicide..He jumped a plane from CA to WA almost immediately to go to her side. Told me 'business trip', returned next day. After about 2 hours - I realized something was very wrong...I thought Grandpa died, he got fired, I actually thought he may have killed his boss! I held him and told him 'whatever' it was, we would handle it. Then he told me - "I've been having an affair for 2 years". I truly thought he was joking.