where to start?
I guess the beginning... about 41/2 yrs ago I found out my wife was having an affair with a local man. When I found out I confronted her. I was really hurt and she saw that. She told me that it was basically because I did not give her the emotional support that she needed. I decided to try to work things out because we had really had a good talk about what each other was feeling and we decided that we both wanted it to work. This gave me a feeling that it was really just a cry for help. Well things went fine for a while but like other things, they kinda went back to the way they were. Well yesterday I found out that she has been having an online affair for a couple of months (pretty graphic in nature). When I confronted her this time I was told the same thing as last time. what has got me puzzeled is that she is telling me that it really wasn't cheating because she never met or talked to him on the phone and that is no diffrence then looking at porno. Last time we went through this I told her that if she was feeling that way she should of talked to me. Now it has happened again and I think that she knew what the consequences would be. If that is the fact it is almost like she wants to get divorced but wants it to be me who initiates it. I really do love her and do not want to hurt my son but I feel like it will only happen again.

Pairlink

Welcome to marriagebuilders. Your wife is having an emotional affair, which can be just as dangerous to a marriage as a physical affair.

Luckily you have found this site. Start in Plan A, you can read all about it on the link in my signature line. You can also print out the emotional needs questionnaire and see if you and your wife can start meeting each others' top needs.

Actually, you CAN have a much better marriage than before, but it will take a little work.