Hello, I am a new poster, and I am just hurting so bad right now. I am embarrassed to talk to anyone about this that I know, so I thought I'd come in and at least be able to talk to others who might possibly be able to relate.
Today I found out that my husband had signed up to an Adult Finder webpage. I found this because he accidently forgot to logout of his email last night, so when I went on the computer this morning, I saw he had all these emails confirming his password and profile on this site. I never look at his email because I trust him, but I'm glad I did this time. I went there and saw what he had put on his profile, he put that he was looking for someone to whisk him away from his wife and wanted another relationship because he wasnt happy and wanted to leave his wife. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I was in tears, I never knew he felt this way. I mean we've been having some problems with our intimate life lately, he's been so stressed out with trying to find a job and just being home all the time and getting his school started that he just doesnt want anything to do with sex. It has hurt me and we talked about it briefly and I have been trying to be the understanding wife and give him some time and space on that part. But I never knew it was to this extent. So I confronted him immediately. He admited he had and didnt know why, it was late and he was just feeling a bit frustrated with everything and that he was just 'venting'. That he never inteded to hook up with anyone. He assured me over and over that he never has once cheated on me in our whole 4 year relationship,that he definitely had the opportunities but never acted upon them because of us. That this was just whatever and he never has or would cheat on me. Now obviously there is something deeper there and I just don't know what to do anymore. I am going to seek some marital counseling, he has agreed to go with me, hopefully we can afford it though, so not sure when it will be possible. I am so hurt and lost at this moment though, he appologized numerously for doing that and assured me he wouldnt do something like that again. That he really didnt know what he felt right now, that he still loves me but he has so much on his mind. We've been together for almost four years, but only been married 6 months, and he says he's just having a really hard time coping with the fact that we now have a home together (apt) and just with marriage all together, the idea of being completelytied down is getting to him.
I just don't know what to feel right now, I mean how can one continue in a marriage when I feel like he doesnt want me anymore, like maybe Im not what he wants anymore?
I'm sorry this is so long and coming from a new person, but I just really needed to vent and hoping maybe anyone out there might have any ideas or kind words. Thank you.
