Good Sunday afternoon eveyone,<P>Where to begin. Well my folks are probably in the air heading back to Ca.. I'm sure they are as emotionaly beaten as I am. This is the first I've seen them since all this began. They lurk here from time to time so they kinda know whats going on.<P>The had hoped that thier presence here would have had a noticaly effect on Robin. I didn't have that expectation. I didn't realise how painful this weekend was going to be. I'm tired of crying!<P>I do believe they did have some effect on her, however it didn't break through her self-obsession. I have to take a long hard look at Dmacs thread. It does fit.<P>Here is what happened. M&D arrived Tue. am. Lota of tears, I'm glad Abbey was able to brighten things up. We talked and talked about every possible angle of this situation. I gave them my views on the whole thing. We all know the different levels of this crap.<P>Thur. mom and Robin spent the day together. Both were very nervous. It went well. They did not talk about the stae of our marriage. Mom wanted to but she wouldn't bring it up. They just talked about our families. I told M this was good Robin got to see first had what all she's giving up. They thought of Robin as thier own child, M and Robin were best friends.<P>X-mas eve went well. My whole immediate family was her,M,D,S,BIL,D,me and Robin. It was as close to last year as we could make it. X-mas am we got to watch Abbey come down the stairs and find what santa left. The magic of a childs eyes x-mas am. We all exchanged gifts. M & D, got Robin some wonderful gifts. My D gave her a card with lottery tickets in it, they both did them everyday when Robin and Abbey spent a week with them. I gave Robin her gifts from me she was blown away. I got her a day-spa certificate.<P>After we ate my D world famous breakfast. Robin came downstairs and said goodbye to us. We all knew where she was going, to spend X-mas day with LRB's family. D asked her where she was going she said to a friends. He looked her in the eyes and said" you enjoy youself" went back to work constructing his anti-pasta.YUM! She gave mom a hug and mom took her outside and told her that she needs to at least try in this marriage for Abbey's sake. Told her she would never be able to hold her head up if she didn"t. They were both bawling. I walked her to her car she hugged me sobbing, I told her she was welcome to eat with HER family. She silently got in her car and drove off crying.<P>An adulterers self-centerednes never stops amazing me! How can a person of good concience lease her three year old D on x-mas day and go spend it with strangers. She didn't even call last night or today.<P>So the last few days have had a huge void in them without my beloved.<P>I've got to make some serious decissions next week. I doubt she'll come around by then. I'll probably be going to plan-b, YUK!<P>I still have hope. Her heart of ice will have to thaw, and she'll have to deal with reality.<P>Until I go into plan-b I will continue in plan-a.<P>Thanks for letting me dump.<P>Bill<P>"commit to the Lord what ever you do, and your plans will succeed" Proverbs16:3<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Bill,<P>This was me starting on Christmas Eve. I can really identify with the saddness you are experiencing.<P>Remember that Steve H. told me this is 100% abiut what they want and need - 100% self-centeredness. It is so hard for you, me and others in our position, becuause we sure aren't acting 100% about OURSELVES, are we????<P>Nothing but a crapper. I hope the LRB's family gives her a bunch of [censored] for "robbing the cradle". I have these young adult sons and I think I would be mightily upset if some 30-something year old was boinking my teenage son!!!!<P>You know, it can't last. His immaturity has got to start grating on her nerves sooner or later. REally, what mature person wants to spend their time with a teenager????? Is she using, again??? Is THAT the real attraction here???<P>Desiree<BR><P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Desiree,<P>She says shes not using.<P>I know it will only be a matter of time.<P>I'm thinking about calling Steve myself.<P>Thanks,<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Bill,<P>I am glad you are going to call Steve. For nothing else, it will at least give you the peace of mind that you are doing everything humanly possible to help Robin and to help your self and thus your marriage.<P>I am praying EXTRA hard for you. It is bad enough fighting the infidelity, but if Robin is using or starts again, she will really make this all so extra hard on herself.<P>Keep praying...you and she have overcome major obstacles once before and Robin can do this once again!!!!!! She needs you and Abbey there to have something to fight for!!!!<P>Prayers and hugs,<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Your W's relationship with this 17 yr. old kid sounds so weird to me. I just don't understand it. I also can't even imagine not spending the whole x-mas day w/my kids, but it seems the norm for some betrayers. They aren't in their right state of mind. I think it would be a great idea to speak to Dr. H. I wish that I could give some good advice, but right now, I'm at a loss for words. Just want you to know that prayers are with you.

Bill, I am sorry. I know it's rough.<P>I still haven't figured Robin out though. However, that's only 5 years younger than PT, so who knows!!<P>hang in there, ok. Lots of hugs and prayers for you.<P>lori

Bill,<P>Just read your post and am so sorry Robin is still not seeing this clearly. I had hoped she would wake up during Christmas not only for you but for Abbey. <P>Hope you do talk to Dr.Harley and can get some answers. Wish I could say something profound but am at a loss right now.<P>Hang in there, you have much strength and God has tremendous shoulders. So do all of us here. I wish the best for you. Good luck with whatever plan you must execute.<P>Hugs and prayers are with you.<P>Dev2

Bill,<P>Hadn't check MB since I posted & just did that- never read another post. I was too concentrated on my own misery. Sorry for not been there for you.<P>This whole thing is sick- it's not only about their needs (W's) or their stupid obsession but also about our mental sanity. Now I think that I'm not giving up, not yet, BUT if hanging in means that I am too so self-centered that my d is losing both her parents to OP (W because she's w/ her, me because it's all I think about) then yes, I'll give up and W can do whatever she pleases. I did something stupid yesterday & I'll post later- this is the only reply I'm doing this morning- it's after 8 & have an appointment in less than one hour.<P>I hope you make the best decision for you own sake and your family's.<P>Alex<P>------------------<BR>Live and learn