Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#451077 09/15/04 02:03 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1
O
Junior Member
Junior Member
O Offline
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1
Hello-
My wife and I have been married for a little over six years now.
Back in April, she went to Las Vegas with some friends and when she came back, she was VERY distant and after two weeks
I finally got it out of her. She said that she liked the idea/feeling of being alone and that she misses being the young, fun spirit she use to be.
We talked quite a bit trying to see where this was taking us and what we could do and it ended up that she said that she has some
issues and went to counseling.
For the next few months, things were ok, but not as they were before she went on her trip.
In the beginning of August, she went back to Las Vegas, but for a convention for work and from Las Vegas, she went to her
10 year high school reunion. When she returned from being gone for a little over two weeks, I could tell that there was something definitely
wrong! She did whatever she could to not be around me, any kind of physical contact was gone (hugging, kissing, etc), and she
was receiving an over abundance of text messages and phone calls on her cell phone.
After a few weeks of this happening, I became a little suspicious and started investigating.
It seems as though the phone calls and text messages were from a male "friend" that she went to high school with and she has been
calling him everyday, anywhere from two to four times a day. He also has been calling her and sending many text messages, but only to her cell
phone. I am not sure what to make of this, until recently. She has a camera phone and since she bought it, she will send me "personal" pictures of
herself from time to time. These are pictures that should only be seen by me, her husband. We share a friend that is currently serving in Iraq and
he has recently obtained Internet access and uses an instant messanger. Our home computer was on this past weekend, so I thought I would see if he
was logged in and she had her e-mail open to her Sent Items. When I reviewed the e-mail that was open, it was one of her personal
pictures that she had sent to me, sent to the guy that she has been calling and receiving text messages from. I was REALLY bothered
by this and became angry. She was upstairs and I went up and asked her when she had a free moment to join me in the Family Room
because I had a question to ask her. I tried to be very professional about it and not show any feelings. When I showed her what was
open on the computer and asked her about it, she was very overcome and became very nervous. With a few sputters, she said, "I do
not know how that got there ... " Of course, I do not believe her and have been finding other things lately that she is not/has not been honest about.
About a month ago, when she returned from her two week trips, we started counseling, but she is a totally different person in counseling.
Do I bring these trust issues up when we are in counseling?
Do I go ahead and get a lawyer and get a divorce?
What do I do?

-Confused

#451078 09/16/04 11:38 AM
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284
J
Member
Member
J Offline
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284
YES YES YES,

You do bring these issues up. She is having an affair, at least an emotional one if not a physical one. He withdrawing from you is a clear sign of this and don't by the "we didn't have sex so it is not an affair" stuff. It is affecting your marriage deeply.

Please read the articles here and look at the NEEDS section as well as the Plan A and Plan B section. Your W is definitely into to something that will and is destroying your marriage. Get a copy of the cell phone bills and consider putting a key logger on your computer to capture what she is doing on the computer. It may well turn your stomach but you will know.

But, please read the information contained in the articles here.

God Bless,

JL


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 147 guests, and 46 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Countfunkula, mollye14, Pansu, sakyt, George Mixflicke
72,372 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,659
Posts2,323,613
Members72,372
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
deneme bonusu
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0