Howdy: My main story is here:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=8;t=022346;p=1I have just come home after a 3 day time-out at a local hotel. The short version is that my W and I have had a de facto in-house separation for the last 6 months. We've had control/dependence issues and last month she started an EA (as far as I know). We've been in MC for a few months, and I needed the time-out after throwing a tantrum about the EA last week.
So, in MC my W said she wants a trial separation to heal her wounds, before she can decide whether she wants to remain M. She had been going out to bars with her single friends, and does not see enough upsides to our M. The 6 months were marked by fighting, cooling out, and withdrawl, and repeating the cycle. Too many LBs.
So the MC supported her decision to leave. We are trying a controlled separation, starting in Oct. As I see it I have 15 days to do a hard Plan A (I may keep doing Plan A until the 6 months are up). I don't think she is still having the EA, but I have to assume she is (so many lies).
My other postings revolve around not knowing what her needs are. The old needs that I ignored, she no longer wants me to meet. No candles, gifts, flowers, affection, etc. Space, independence, empathy, consideration, admiration, and domestic support are the only things I know I can provide w/o ticking her off. The first two are the hardest. She wants me to have more of a life, and not always be home. Very difficult to do, when you are trying to deposit points. And I have NO idea what mix of time together and space apart to give (she's reluctant to ask me to get out of the house to do something).
So today, I had to leave work b/c I kept crying. Cried on the way home and at home. Cleaned up a little, went to the store, and cooked a spinach and black bean lasagne. She helped me remove our hurricane plywood (in Florida), which I know she appreciated (job to big for her). She's at the gym, and I need to find something to do so I am not home when she gets back.
Anyone else's wife claim they need "space and freedom?"
