Hello! Though this is my first post I'm not new to this site. I've been reading this site for six months now. Just started lurking the boards a month ago.

I'm afraid my husbands involved with an EA. It's a strong suspecion but I have not actual proof. My husband has been growing distant to me. It urks him to no end to carry on a conversation with me. He acts like I'm a child and scolds me often in front of others. Like he does our sons. When he comes home from work he changes, eats supper and sits in front of the tv for the rest of the night. It wasn't as bad over the summer. Since the new season has started he doesn't want me to interupt his tv schedule.

Yesterday I was looking for my ils new cell number on his cell phone. I picked it up and looked in the recent call list. There I saw this girls number he works with had called. I didn't think much of it so I set the phone down and went to my desk to pick up a pen and paper. In the mean time he picked up the cell. He handed it to me and after I wrote down ils cell I looked back at the received call list and he had deleted her number.

I've asked him about my feelings he's having an affair. He told me that he was tired of hearing about it. This is the second time I've asked. The first time I asked jokingly. He had such a strange reaction to me asking. So I descided to ask him again and he was mean about it. He told me they talk alot and to get over it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not here saying poor pittiful me. I want to know what to do? I try to make this house peaceful for him to come home too ya know, take care of all the household & yard chores. I want our home to be a haven for him. He just acts like what I do isn't enough for him.

Should I be suspecious? Sorry to ramble!
Liz

You should be very suspicious. Is the other woman married?

Start in Plan A - you can read all about it on the link in my signature line.

Do not bring the affair up again, but keep snooping.

By the way, welcome to marrigebuilders. You may want to post on general questions as there is more traffic there.

Believer,

Thanks for the reply. The other woman is married with four kids. She is also a co-worker. How do you Plan A a co-worker? Can you start plan A even though you don't have confirmation there is even anything going on?

Thanks so much!!!!!!!

Welcome. I think you're confused about Plan A. You Plan A your husband. Not the co-worker.

Oh and from a veteran of the EA wars, yeah, something's going on, and you need to get busy in Plan A. And read the rest of the things on this site.

good luck!

Yes I must be confused. I thought in plan A your spouse was to cut contact with op. So if op works with spouse how is that possible. Also dh tells me there is nothing going on. So I'm just confused how to "plan A" without him on board. Can you plan A without an admission of an EA?

I'm just scared. Since it's not an actual pa (at least I don't think so) he probably thinks there is nothing wrong with it. I know he told me they "talked" alot. He must be telling her everything. He acts like it's just a chore to even talk to me anymore. Even about the little things.

Thank you so much. I'll re-read plan A.

Keep posting and re-read plan A. I'm going through an EA right now with my WW. She is off in fantasy land and doens't realize how painful it is to me. There are many very good posters here. You may want to try the General Questions thread where more people tend to hang out. Good luck. Jmash

So help me, its tough!

My H's EA was with a co-worker. He hid it for a while when they worked together and then for a while after he was laid off (I came across it via cell phone kismit....a fluke)

I got tough with demanding all contact info and asking for no contact (afterall they no longer worked at the same place)

My H after unemployement for a long time actually had the nerve to interview back at his/her company.

I told him NO, no, NO, no. You can work anywhere else in the universe but there.

Get cell bills/records and find the info of how often the have talked and when and read Not Just Friends (Amazon has it)

Honestly, since I have been speaking about my H's EA and telling him my boundaries regarding it.........we have come a very long way to recapturing our own emotional intimacy.