New here and not sure of all the abbreviations without looking. My husband has a drinking problem (and I have to admit I do also). He started staying at neighbors and not coming home until late. He left the house August 30. I have only spoken to him 10 minutes since then. I now know he has been seeing someone for what I suspect is several months. He also took away the 3 stepkids that I helped raise the past 7 yrs (I have no children of my own). Thank gosh the kid's mom has let me talk with them as they are really having a hard time(one lived with us fulltime but he is back at his mom's--fulltime? I believe).

I read over the getting over stuff and the biggest thing that popped out was not to separate but try to work it out. I admit I did some really stupid things this past month, desperate things to try and get his attention but I feel it drove him away even more (he "got" the neighbors who tell him everytime I walk out the door).

So are the chances of him coming back better that he left? BTW He never had one worry for his children, his clothes being washed, the house being cleaned and now he has a new apartment with no furniture and his kid's are sleeping on the floor the entire 2 nights they have spent over there.

I am also concerned because the OW works with him and he could lose his job if it is true that they are having an affair since she is below on the chain of command.

I just need a little hug and suggestions on how to put my life back together.

Thanks

Welcome, Mayday.... sorry you have reason to post in this forum, but you should find plenty of help here.

Are you sure your husband is in an affair? Do you have proof, or is it just gossip?

Often, when a spouse leaves the home for the OP (other person) it will signal the end of the affair. Suddenly, the OP has to meet all of the WS (wayward spouse's) needs and they fail. After a time (sometimes quickly, other times over months or more) the WS realizes what he/she left behind and they will reconcile with the BS (Betrayed Spouse) and return home.

Have you had a chance to read up on Plan A? Even though your husband has left the home, you can still implement Plan A. Do you have contact with him very often, or just the kids?

I am so sorry he is doing this to your family. Keep reading and learn.

Snow