I've read a lot of discussion here about the merits of caller/ID and recording phone calls.

My question, I guess, is whether those things have to be used for the long-haul.

Do you ever get to a point as a BS where you have total faith that there is no contact? Or...once D-Day happens, are you set up for a life of eternal monitoring?

Frankly, I'd like to believe to my wife when she says she will have no contact. I've made it clear to her that I expect her to tell me if he contacts her. She promised to do so.

But...of course there are doubts and worries. And..I'm not really sure how to deal with them.

Does the use of caller ID or recording hurt a recovery? My wife has invtied me to monitor her life. She's very eager to regain my trust. That's not going to happen for a long time. So..the door is open for some kind of monitoring.

I just to think that my life has been reduced to that.

Yes, I think at a certain time, you just need to let go. Just like you need to let go of the anger and bitterness. It takes time, though, so if you're 6 months into recovery and you still need to check, that's okay. We all heal differently.

It sounds like your FWS is more than willing to do whatever she can to regain your trust.

I did realize that FWS needs to know that this isn't what their life will be reduced to, either. I understood that my FWS needed some trust to help in his recovery also. So I didn't check. Not at first. I could feel FWS re-engaged in the M. It did help that there wasn't much of a withdrawal and we have not heard one word from OW since NC.

I have checked, though. Not on a regular basis, but I do. That's just me and that's what I needed at that moment. But as I'm recovering, too, I notice I don't need it so much anymore.