My H and I have been married for three years. I have had my doubts about his fidelity since the beginning of our marriage and on several occasions I've had my suspensions confirmed, but I have always allowed him to convince me otherwise. I am normally such a strong person and am very opinionated about cheating however, during the first year of our marriage I had an affair for about six months. I confessed to my H and have worked very hard to build his trust in me. However I have allowed my guilt over my affair( which he never fails to bring up in a argument)to prevent me from taking action on the obvious signs of his wandering eye. But this time I've developed an STD called Chlamydia. As usual he denies everything, he even brought me the test results from a Dr. Apt he had two days before my check up because he was having problems with his urinary tract. His test came up negative for Chlamydia the Dr. stated that he had a prostate infection. Now to be fair I will say that I was never checked after my affair, but that was almost 2 years ago! Is it possible that I have carried this disease this long and never knew it? Is it possible that I could have had unprotected sex with my husband repeatedly and never infected him? I'm so confused my husband says that I should just let it go but how much more unusual coincidences can I keep sweeping underneath the rug.It's really begining to wear on my self-esteem I can't keep paying for a mistake I made 2 years ago, Can I?
please help

You say that you've worked hard to earn your H trust after your affair, yet by your own admission you have shown very little trust in your H faithfulness. What specifically has he done to make you doubt him?

As far as the STD is concerned, I think you need to go see your doctor to find out if it is possible for an STD like Chlamydia to remain dormant for years before it becomes active.

Toomuchcoffeeman, the thing is that My H has children outside of our marriage. the two women he has kids by are repeatedly telling me that he is cheating on me with them. Now I know that that's something they would say if they want him back, (which both claim they do not) but these women know things about our relationship that there is no way they could know unless he told them. I have also recieved a call from an unkown female who actually handed my H the phone to prove he was there. He of course stated that the things the girl told me about them were a lie and that he was simply over there with a friend. All these women can't be out to get him.

Thanks for the advice on the chlymidia thing I'm going to call today even though I'm afraid of what the answer might be!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">the two women he has kids by are repeatedly telling me that he is cheating on me with them. Now I know that that's something they would say if they want him back, (which both claim they do not) but these women know things about our relationship that there is no way they could know unless he told them.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Shakie

According to Dr Willard Harley Jr, faithful or unfaithful, spouses should never have blind trust for one another and while it is good that you are not in denial on the possibility that your H may be cheating on you I would like to point that those two women your H has kids with, are the last persons who you should trust for unbias information. Stop and think for a moment, doesn't it seem strange that these women say that they do not want your H back yet are allegedly having sex with him? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> Strange behavior wouldn't you say? Doesn't it make more sense that their ultimate goal is the destruction of your marriage by driving you to divorce your H so that one of them will have a shot at marriage with him? Remember that there a lot of bitter, resentful ex-wives who make it there business to destroy their ex-husbands marriages through all kinds of tactics. Would you like it if your scorned ex-lover came back and told your H that you were still cheating on him and your H beleived him?

My point in all of this is for you not to put your trust and faith in dubious sources and instead try to find out for yourself if what these women have said about your H is the truth or a lie.

<small>[ October 07, 2004, 08:08 AM: Message edited by: T00MuchCoffeeMan ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by shakie:
<strong> Thanks for the advice on the chlymidia thing I'm going to call today even though I'm afraid of what the answer might be! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Chlamydia can be carried for years before a person becomes symptomatic. As with most STD's is it harder for a woman to infect a man than for a man to infect a woman.

<small>[ October 07, 2004, 08:39 AM: Message edited by: EricM ]</small>

Shakie are you ok?