I need opinions here...I want to know if given the opportunity to screw OM/Ow...would you do it and is it advisable. I've thought of a plan to do this that might possibly majorly screw up his life. Debating whether to do it or not. Please respond and give me some feedback.

"The best revenge you can take against a man who would steal your wife is to let him keep her". I think you can safely reverse the genders in that quote too.

Don't go there. Revenge doesn't fix anything, it can make things worse. It can become a vicious cycle. <P>------------------<BR>Give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you.<BR>* Viki

Been there, still there <P>I fight myself every day on this. I have sufficient information to ruin the OW's life, and the only thing that's stopping me is that it would ruin her husband's life too. Would your revenge idea hurt someone innocent?<P>Think about it.<P>Also, would you be eaten up with guilt if you do it? I know I would.<P>Good luck and I hope you stay strong.

Revenge would be tempting and it's hard to talk someone out of it...but just imagine the situation turned around. What would you think of someone being vengeful to you? It might end up making you look like the bad guy. Making yourself look good is probably the best revenge there is.

Hey, you're invited to the Uprooting Bitterness thread. May give you a different perspective. <P>Unless you let go, the other person is like tethered to you. Let go and they can no longer control you...especially your emotions.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

To answer the question...yes it probably would hurt his W and K. However, he's done so much damage to me <he was supposedly my friend> that all I can think about is getting even somehow. Is there any way to achieve this or should I just let it go?<P>------------------<BR>The realization that life is not fair is a pain that lasts a lifetime, but with perserverance and love, the pain can be greatly eased.

Geez, he wasn't too worried about the impact his actions had on YOUR life was he? Isn't your life 'majorly screwed up' by what he has done to it? Do you think things will ever, ever be the same with you and your wife? If you think they will I can almost gurantee you they won't be the same. You will always have a nagging doubt and you will never be able to forget what she did, forgive maybe but not forget. <P>Of course the OM doesn't want you to do hurtful to him and his family like he did too you. God forbide you should upset his life. So you better do the right thing and let him off huh? Just spend the rest of your life knowing he slept with your wife and paid no price. Maybe he will give you that sly knowing grin when he passes you. That should warm you up on those cold winter nights I bet. He will of course be warmed by his memories of 'rocking and rolling' with your wife.<P>The best revenge to me; the scum that messed with my life continue to regret it to this day. I make sure of it.<P>Think about THAT.

How do you make sure of it?

lost and scared: let it go if you can! I've come to realize that taking revenge hurts us more than it does them in most cases.<P>Plus, you're the "bigger" person if you can hold back. This way you don't go down to their level <P>------------------<BR>"One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time."<BR>-- Andre Gide

Revenge in the context of getting even with the OP in your partner's life is a lose-lose proposition. <P>Think of it: revenge for what? A bruised ego? It doesn't matter who started the affair, both parties are equally to blame. Then we have to fan out to include the "betrayed" because he or she might have pushed the "betrayer" into the affair.<P>The blame game and revenge will only become a never-ending cycle. Like the old song goes: "Someone's gonna get hurt before your through. Don't be surprised if that someone is you."