First I want to thank everyone for their holiday updates. They have helped me so much to get thru this weekend.<P>Now this is my story/venting.<BR>Sunday 12/19<BR> H tells me he wants divorce. I am sill amaised by this. Over the last 4 years he has ..Lied to me, Forged my name,used up my savings,ruined my credit(All for his company), had a affair, and left me with no job, no money and all his bills. My friends think I am dysfunctional because I sill love him.(and 2 are counslers) but I want to be an adult, and work this out not run away. They say that would work if he was an adult(Hes 40)<BR>Wed 12/21<BR> I have to borrow his SUV to go to the airport, because he left me with a 10 y old truck (130000 miles) and it will not make it that far. He 1hour late and I have had it. I forget everything I have learned on this site and tell him off for 30 min. I have been obsessing about the anger and pain and I need to get it out. Short ver. of what I told him.<BR>He is selfish. I have given 200% to this marrage and everything I own. When it is his time to give and work on our marrage ..He Bails.<BR>Its easier for him to divorce me then to work on our marrage. He can for get about all the things he has done.<BR>I was tired of giving, I hated him, I never wanted to see him again and wanted him out of my life. <BR> I could see the pain even behind his sunglasses. He has been so cold lately.<BR>X-mas eve<BR>He calls and says "We are Not Exchanging Gifts are we! I said no if he was going to be hateful about it. He calls later to tell me hes sorry and he already had a gift for me anyway(??)<BR>Christmas day<BR>H comes over for about 1 hour. Comes in, gives me a kiss on the lips and hug. My S gets a dreamcast and I get A DIAMOND TENNIS BRACELET! I cry a little because its something i have always wanted. H hugs me and puts it on me. Before he leaves H gives me long hug and quick kiss on lips. (last week he kissed me on the forhead because he didnt want me to get my hopes up that we would get back together)<BR>Sorry story is so long but What is he doing? He has called 2 times (short) since then. Is this a good sign or am I getting my hopes up?<P>

sounds like a fence-sitter.<BR>jeez, i wish people would stop this crap and communicate- sounds like a big conflict avoider also.<BR>i wish i could help- i just waned you to know that it sucks and we are here.

You're doing well to still be sane!!<P>Ok, so now we'll give HIM the waffle prize. Heavenly day! I wish I had some good advice for you, but I can't for the life of me make sense of this one.<P>So I'm sending you hugs and prayers and what little extra strength I've got.<P>Hang in there, OK?<P>Lori

covenant &<BR>losta<P> Thanks for letting me know that someone cares. I dont think anyone knows the answer to this one, and I dont think I am sane anymore. Posting and reading everyones threads is helping me fight off depression. Today I seem to be alot sadder.<P>Hugs back to you<BR>faythe

Hello, ITS CALLED CONFUSED. he dont know what he wants. My W does the same thing. When things are going her way with OM she dislikes me and nothing I do is right. When things are not so good, she wiil talk to me and give an ocasional hug. It does suck, but I will try to wait it out.<P>Good luck trying to figure him out.<P><P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>

Update:<BR> My H just called to ask if me and my S(9) would like to get together New Years Eve. I asked him If he wants a family or not,he cant have it both ways And I didnt want to get my S hopes up. He said he still wants a D and to decide when I want to go to the lawyers. His final answer was He wants a D but he still want to DATE. I love him very much but I think this would drive me to suicide. Why should I date someone who wants to D me? It just doesnt sound healthy to me.

The rollercoaster rides are more to come. He sounds confused as you are about the way he feels. Hang in there. Your in my prayers. On New Year's Eve, deposit as many love units as you can!<P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>