Anyone have any thoughts on WS's that 'fess up and walkaway at the same time? Specifically, told you that they loved the other person and wants to start a life with them (and get a divorce from BS)? It seems like there are a lot of words of advice and much hope for marriages where WS stayed and either immediately ended affair, or eventually ended it, but stayed with BS. But what is the advice/projected hope for those of us that were blindsided by the affair and abandoned, simultaneously? Especially without incentives to stay, like real property or kids?

Thoughts please!

<small>[ October 28, 2004, 08:12 PM: Message edited by: DazedinCA ]</small>

Hello Dazed,

I wish that I had helpful, practical words of advice for you, but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this situation.

My WW left two days after D-Day for the OM, saying that she had no desire to save our marriage, that she no longer loved me and wanted to spend the rest of her life with the OM (she had only known him 3 months!)
She left me and our 22 year marriage, our three teenage sons and our home and is now living 70 miles away with this loser. He has no home (they are living with his parents), no job and has just spent the last four years in jail.

I truly believe that she is deep in fog land and one day will begin to see clearly again and return home. It is now four weeks since I sent the Plan B letter. As yet it seems to have no effect on her, but has helped me maintain my love for her as all previous contacts left me greatly hurt, angry and distraught.
My WW has been to see our youngest son for the last two weekends, but still seems to have little thought for them and despite many promises has cut her financial support for them to the bare minimum required by law. She says she has to support OM! FOG!!

If I could give you any advice at all it would be to pray continually and believe in a God of the impossible who loves you and will never abandon you.

God bless.