I just found out my husband was cheating on me. He said they did not have a sexual affair, but they did kiss. He has promised he will not see her again, he apologizes every other breath. He wants to work things out. I knew he was doing something, I had a lot of dreams about him cheating. (I dream things that happen sometimes. It's weird, I know.) He says he made a mistake and told me he felt like I didn't support him anymore. I didn't keep the house clean enough, I'm not the neatest person in the world. He admits he should have talked to me about what was bothering him instead of doing what he did. We have been married nearly 8 yrs.and we have 2 young children. I want to stay with him, I truly love this man. I can't believe this happened. This fling went on for about 8 months. He says they just talked until recently and then the flirting started. This woman is the wife of one of his friends. He says they were both unhappy and that is how it started. He never once told me anything was bothering him.It has made me take a very long hard look at myself. We have agreed to work through this, but I don't know how to get over the pain and betrayal that I feel or if I ever will. I would never have done this to him. I have been unhappy to and have been trying to talk to him but he would never talk. I really want things to work and I believe he does to. I just don't know how to work through the pain,

JSJC -
Welcome to marriagebuilders. It is a great place to be under the circumstances. Most of us never would have believed that our spouse would have an affair. But they did.

You can read about Plan A on the link in my sig line and start there.

He has given you a clue of one of his needs - a clean house. So start working on that too. Check out www.flylady.com for some tips on how to organize your cleaning. This site makes it fun to clean.

Of course with kids, it is hard to keep the place clean all of the time. Does he pitch in? Or help with the kids?

Check out the home page here about emotional needs, and see if you are meeting each other's needs.

Keep reading and posting here and we will help you get through this.

Click on the link in my signature line.

Tell her husband today.