According to most betrayers, they hate their spouse and could never live with them again. If this is true, why do so many later want to come back? I have heard several stories of people who left their families, blamed it all on the spouse, then were filled with regret and tried to come back. How does this work? If they really feel that way, why would they want to come home?<P>AD

It's not that they actually feel that way, it's the <B>think</B> they feel that way. They have to do it to try & justify the affair in their own minds. A sort of defensiveness. If they didn't, the guilt would crush them. Most of the time the marriage was not that bad prior to the affair beginning. But as soon as it becomes more than a simple friendship, they start to see EVERYTHING the spouse does as bad/wrong. After a time (hopefully) they wake up and see the destruction in the wake of the affair and that the OP is no better than the spouse, but have so much invested with the spouse, they try to work it out (not always).<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A><p>[This message has been edited by Chris (CA123) (edited December 27, 1999).]

I think they feel this way at the time of the affair. The when they find out that the grass aint greener on the other side, and they get thier head out of thier @ss. thats when they finally decide they want to come home. <P>Sad, but true. I think, and hope.<P><P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>

CA123, we were posting at the same time, but I think we are saying the same thing<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>