How am I going to handle this? His plane is broken (he is Navy and met her while on a detachment to this town) and he has been delayed another few days. I know it is true because I called the squadron. But that gives him time to be tempted. As far as I know, she doesn't know he is there. I have checked his voice mail from home. Nothing on there. I am having anxiety attacks so bad now. They are to the point that my face is going numb. I have epilepsy, and this worries me. The soonest I could get in at the psych was December 7, so I called and made an appt at my own doc for Tuesday. I just found out about her on November 4, so this is way too soon to be in this situation. I feel like I am drowning! Help me to get through this, as I have no one else! I have posted before with very little response. It is very disheartening.

ama

I'm at work an just have a few seconds to post.

A couple of things. You might want to post over on General Questions II, as there is more "action" over on that board. Also, be patient, because things are much slower on weekends than they are on weekdays.

If you haven't heard it before, purchase and read Surviving an Affair, as it will inform you all about the dynamics of and affair, and help you through the proper steps to end the affair, reconcile, survive withdrawal, and begin building a stronger marriage.

If your thread goes hours without a response, reply to your own thread and type in the following:

^^ bump^^

That will send it back to the "top" and it's likely to catch more attention there.

Best wishes,
SD

Thanks SD. I have ordered SAA and HNHN. They were shipped on Friday and I chose 2nd day air, so should be here Monday. I guess I am just confused as to why I am having such "physical" reactions to this. It really scares me that my face (and inside of my mouth) are going numb like this. My counsellor (who happens to be pro separation, I believe) says it is anxiety attacks. I am looking for another counsellor by the way. I hope that my appointment on Tuesday with my regular doctor will help with some medicine to control this. I feel like I am drowning, as I said before. I am losing my patience with my children, especialy while he is gone and it is just me taking care of them. I work full time, but when I get home, I just feel like I want to run away and never come back. I don't really think too much about suicide, as I fear death. But sometimes, I wonder if I would just be better off. He has hurt me more than I ever thought possible. And yet, I love him more now than ever. How is that?

Ama..
I am a WW, very remorseful. I thought I might give a perspective from the other side. You have valid reasons to be worried. During this time, he should understand that he should be contacting you as often as possible and showing that he is truly thinking of you and your marriage. You also have every right to ask him if he saw her or talked to her at all. But, speaking from the other side, try as best you can to be calm and patient with him, and prepare a response for a worst-case answer. If you blow up at him he is less likely to want to open up to you in the future. If you can accept his response and either thank him for his faithfulness or come up with a solution to further prevent no contact in the future, this will go a long way toward establishing a comfortable environment. One thing is for sure..you have every right to hold him accountable, check up on him, and ask him respectfully about his actions. He needs to understand this if he is going to make the marriage successful. Best wishes to you.