Background: We were married for 3 years and my SO had an affair. After I found out, she moved out. She continued the affair and after 9 months I filed for divorce and moved out of state. Shortly after I moved, she called and wanted to reconcile. This was brought about due to her getting pregnant and the other guy ending the affair. We worked on the relationship and she eventually moved to where I am. We have one child together and I have raised the child she had outside of the marriage as if it were my own. She has never met her real father. Everything seemed great until...

About 3 months ago, I started noticing the same behavior patterns that happened when she had the first affair. I found a letter she had written to a co-worker that suggested more than a casual friendship. I asked her about it and she wouldn't discuss it. The serious issue to her was that I was snooping. Over the past 3 months they have been spending a lot of time together. Then today I found several notes in her car from him and I found her journal. I approached her about it and she denied everything and of course the big issue to her was my snooping.

I'm wanting to work on this and not give up but she refuses to talk about it. I've read about Plan A and will be starting immediately. Do I contact the other guy? Do I give her the space and just let this blow over?

Do not contact the other man (OM) He is not your friend. He is not your ally. If this is an affair, he is indifferent to your feelings.

If he is married go talk to his wife.

BTW, spouses who are caughtcheating always make the spying the issue. It's a diversion. Politely tell her so when she throws it in your face.

Always stay calm.

Mac