Found out one month 8 days ago. My wife had an affair with one of my best friends. On going affair that lasted over 5 years basically whenever she wanted it. She says it was not a weekly or a monthly thing only when we were having problems or when I said the wrong things. Feelings have been up and down and she is saying all the right things. She says she is woried that I am going to leave her. I keep telling her that if I was going to leave I would have walked out the door the night I found out. I love her so much and even knowing what I know now I still want to be with her. I have forgiven her and my friend and have told them both. I think this is key to any success. They have not seen each other in over a year and he now lives a few states away. I found him just to get his side of the story and to let him know that I know and forgive. We have been working on our relationship and are better and more connected now than we ever have been in the last 13 years together. Just had our 8 year anniversary this past weekend and things could not be better. I still have my moments but this is basically letting anyone who has or had the same feelings on d-day that things can get better even with just a little of time. As long as both of you are willing to do what it takes to make it better.

i am 6 weeks since dday and am seeing little effort on the part of my ww, but i will keep trying. thanks for the encouragement, and good luck to you both

3 weeks and feeling pretty raw still. At least your W's A is over. We all need a group hug.

Over 12 months since I found out about the first time, but only 4 months since I found out about the last time. The worst part now is trying to get rid of the images of them together out of my head. Also how he could have done it if he truly cared for me, which he says he does!!! We recently celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary but it wasnt that great. Too many things to think about.

Wow. I cannot explain the feelings of amazement that I feel towards your situation. To be willing to put up with a dishonest unloyal partner is beyond me. An affair that lasted 5 yrs?! That's more than enough to make me wanna pack my bags and burn my bridges.

<small>[ December 03, 2004, 01:27 PM: Message edited by: Yoko Kurama ]</small>

Your story is close to mine, except A only lasted two months--i know i need to forgive om for my sake ,but i will never let him anywhere near my life again