My boyfriend and I have been living together for almost two years, and as far as I know he hasn't cheated, however, he has had no sex drive for over a year, he avoids kissing me on the lips, he can get up okay when we do have sex, but just doesn't seem to enjoy the getting started part, he likes to just lay there. I am a very sexual girl and have tried everything to get him to want sex...toys, porn, etc., nothing seems to work. He does work a lot and gets very stressed with that, he blames stress but also says that he doesn't know what is wrong with him, he says that he doesn't even beat off. He also says that this same thing happened with his last girlfriend (who he cheated on). However, recently I found emails between him and another woman who happens to be twice his age and is rather disgusting. They are all dirty talk, there is no evidence that they ever hooked up but it seems like it was leading there. He insists that the emails were an office joke, he says she had hit on him and told him to set up this email account and he and his buddies thinking it was funny, would write to her. I confirmed the presence of at least two of his co-workers being there when most of the emails were written. I guess that I believe that they didn't hook up, but I am not so sure that the emails were 100% innocent. It just seems so wrong. Our relationship has been bad lately and when I found these emails I accused him of cheating and was ready to leave. He became angry and told me that he could care less if I broke up with him, but he doesn't want me to do it because I think he cheated on me, because that is the one thing that he has never done. Does this sound like cheating? Or does this just sound like a guy who is getting sick of his girlfriend?

It sounds like he could be stressed, depressed, or not well. Has he had a full physical recently? Is he willing to discuss it with his doctor?

Read some of the other stories from people here. I'm not sure you'll find similar scenarios, but it might help you to decide if this is a man who is cheating on you.

I imagine that other posters will key in on the fact that he cheated on a former girlfriend............

it sounds like he is being a little unfaithful just because he has said unappropriate things to another woman...the good thing is that he is just a boyfriend....you can break up with him and still salvage a little dignity....do you have any kids with him? If there are no kids then I would say run...cause how he treats you now is how he will treat you later....they don't change after you marry them...actually it gets worse....so...take it as warning signs of what you don't want later in your life....and now you know what you do want....good luck....let us know what happens

Well, the good thing CPF is that you are not married!
I am not sure of the sexual part has anything to do with him cheating but the fact that you are not satisfied and that you do not trust him are BIG WARNING SIGNS. If you question, you are doubting trust.
Listen, I was with my H. 8 long years before I married him. I met him when I was 18 and married him when I was 26. I never knew he had it in him to cheat on me. The fact that you have doubts is a serious situation. Obviously he is not respecting you and is lying to you. He is probably so insecure that he is playing you to make himself feel better with that coworker.

Although being with him for two years is an investment in time, it does not mean you need to be with this guy forever. I say save yourself and flee! Run and find someone where you can feel comfortable on confident. I am positive he is out there some where. This guy seems like a looser. Sorry. Get out! No one deserves that kind of treatment.
I know it may hurt but think of all the grief you will be saving later down the line. You don't want to be where I am at. Keep your esteem and go!!!!!

Good luck to you. I really hope you make the right decison. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Ali~

Oh yeah, the fact that he is "talking dirty" with someone else? Who needs that? LEAVE.. RUNN.. DUMP HIM!

<small>[ December 08, 2004, 11:00 AM: Message edited by: Ali88 ]</small>

Sorry, the more I read your post the more your boyfriend is a Jerk! He couldn't care less if you broke up with him? Good God. There is a sign right there. If you think he is sick of you why would you subject yourself to this? Oh please, look at the signs. My husband did that kind of crap to me when his slut was paying so much attention to him. You don't need this. He obviously has some major issues and you are caught up in them. And FORTUNATELY, YOU ARE NOT BONDED TO HIM...
What about yourself esteem? Do you know for a fact that he has never cheated on you? That fact that he did it to his ex means that he could have done it to you?

OK, nuff said.

Ali~

<small>[ December 08, 2004, 11:08 AM: Message edited by: Ali88 ]</small>

Thanks for the input! Although we are not bonded in marriage we are bonded in the fact that we have a house together, we have a puppy, and we once shared so many dreams together. It is so hard for me to understand how someone who once was pushing marraige to me can all of a sudden want me out of his life. You are right I should RUN and I am moving out. We both think that maybe we will miss each other once we are not living together. I hope that I do find someone and move on, there is just a huge part of me that wants to find the man that I fell in love with. I know that he is in there somewhere. The dirty emails ARE the root of my distrust for him and even though I believe that nothing happened and maybe it was just a big joke - I find it hard to believe that someone with good morales would do something like that. I kind of feel like it might be a sign that even if he hasn't cheated on me, he has it in him to do so. Uughhh This SUCKS!!!

Hey cpf44

Don't panic yet... I bet ya this is a classic issue where your boyfriend is all about the "chase". Guys give "love" for sex and girls give "sex" for love (very general I know..).. You put out both looking for a response.

I suggest you lay of a bit.. play hard to get.. hook up with your girlfriends and get out and socialize. In a very short time you will regain lost confidence and act like you did when you 2 first met. This will attract him to you (again) and the chase is back on...

Good luck sista!

Cheers!

Yep! It is a sign to get out and run! Take the dog with you.

Ali~