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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 3 |
I just found out that my husband of six mths cheated on me before the wedding and hid it from me. He as also passed this girl off as a friend since then and even though I begged and pleaded for him to not to be around her he continued. He now says he is sorry and had ended all ties with her . I love him , we have bee together for almost 6 years. I don't want to get a divorce but I don't know if I can ever forgive or trust him again. We are a younger couple. Jr. high/ high school sweethearts. I am 20 he is 19. I know we are young and I already heard all I can about how stupid we are for getting married so young, I just don't want to lose the only person that I've ever loved and I feel is the only person I was meant to be with, how can I get though this? (She is 15) I know , under age and all that crap. I need help not critism please. I'm in enough pain as it is.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Welcome to marriagebuilders. You have found a good place to be under the circumstances. I don't think anyone will criticize you for getting married so young. I know many couples who married even younger and are still happily married after years and years.
It is completely miserable when you first find out, but your marriage can survive and get stronger. Please read all of the information here - especially about the emotional needs.
Is your husband willing to be an open book to you, account for his time, and answer any questions that you have?
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 3 |
I think so. I really think so. But I am so confused at this point. And I have so many people / family/ friends telling me to move on, but it doesn't feel right.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Here at marriagebuilders we believe that most marriages can be saved, and become better. It takes some work but is so worth it.
Usually family and friends will tell you to dump the cheater. That is completely normal.
Also, please don't act on your emotions, because they will often lead you in the wrong direction. Right now you are confused and hurt, but things can get much better.
Stick with us and read and post here. We know what you are going through.
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 10
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 10 |
How did you find out about him being with this other girl? I'd look at is he truly repentant and willing to be completely honest and accountable? I was the WW to my H a year ago but I know in my heart I hate what I did and I want more than anything to make our marriage work and that it will never happen again.
If he's telling you the truth now and wants to be a better man that's HUGE! Hang in there and age doesn't matter-you guys made a commitment try to work it out!
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 3 |
I understand that he is sorry but I caught him through his emails. And I really really don't think that he would have told me if I wouldn't have cought him in such a big big big lie. I mean I usedto question him about this girl calling the house and being places over and over (this being after he had already cheated) and he told me that I was crazy and that he loved me and that I should trust him that nothing had or was going on. I feel that everytime he lied to me it was like he was having sex with her in front of my face over and over and over again. And I confronted her and she and he both denied it saying that they were just friends that was it. He even dragged me to parties that she was at (after the fact) and I feel like she got to laugh at me and degrade me without me knowing about all this. He had no respect for me and let her run over me and he ran over me. Do that make any sense? I just don't know if I can take any explaination for the "them being friends" after they had done the deed and after we had been married and after I had expressed my pain and intuitions about something being wrong.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Well, that's what they all do when having an affair. Keep reading here, and you will see the same thing over and over.
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