I am back was here a while ago, I need some help. Well thing are going good!!! My H and I are getting along really well, I just need to know how to handle something. She calls his phone all of the time and he doesn't answer.. She blocks her number. Last night we got home at about nine, we had a couple of night alone with out the kids... It was really nice. Our home phone starts to ring... I look at the caller ID and it is a no number, I wait for the machine to see who it is... They leave no message. Then no 2 minutes later my cell phone rings, I jump up thinking it is my kids and there is a problem.. Once again no number and no message. Then my H phone starts ringing and he looks at it no number so he doesn't answer.. no message. It rings again I look at the phone and it is a no number. So I answered my H cell phone. The ow asked if my H is there I say Yes, then she asked if she can talk to him, I say no. The she said can you give him a message... I said what might that be, she says tell him to stop going to my house and going through my things and taking stuff, I said and when did all of this happen... she says sat or sun, I said well that would be hard since he was with me the entire time, and he swears he has no key. She then proceeds that oh it must have been last week., The she says you just don't know , I said know what , I said you have the nearve to call my home phone and leave a message that my kids can hear... I said you are big on the phone, I am here talk to me and she hung up... So my H called me today and said that his phone rang right after I talked to him this morning, he answered... she asked him what is it going to take to get you back, my H said nothing, I am not coming back to you (OW) she said well you know I am not going to go away until I have you back... Oh and on new years I will find where you are going and be there... All I can say is bring it on!!!!!!!, it freaks me out beacuse she drives by our house all of the time. We think she was sitting down our street, because she called the minute we got home. I am not afraid of her in any way, I am afraid that she will do something stupid around my kids... She proceeded to call him 12 times in a row. Ahh she will not go away.... what should I do ?.. My orginal post was on just found out and then on how to stop bringing it up...

Hi JH
Good to hear from you.I have been wondering about you.I am glad things are going better.I wonder if you could put a complaint in with the phone company,or police and have your phone bugged so they could catch her then you could press harasment charges.
Just a thought

How are you doing Ginger... Good I hope.... Well my next resort is to contact a couple of the police officers that we play softball with. But I think my H doesn't want them to know about the A. But if it gets any more intense... I will call them myself.... Good to hear from you ... How was your X-mas??

That is harrassment and you have the right to press charges. Why not change your numbers? Become unlisted.

Definitely tell your police friends. That can come in handy. Our good friend is a cop. He hates that saying...but anyway we ran into a situation that happened over the summer that she call my H. work and accused him of harrassing e-mails. The ow ironically is married to a cop too. So we seeked advice from our friend and obviously it was figured out what she was doing was falsifying harrassment and harrassing us. So what I am trying to say is that you have rights and she is stalking you. I am not sure what state you live in but there are new laws that protect you from loonies like her.

I would actually confront her face to face and tell her that she needs to let it go or she is going to be in a lot of trouble. That is the correct thing to do.

I might have asked you this before but can you changed your numbers? And how much trust do you have in your husband? Again, why and how did she get your cell#?

Again, it is time to get help from your police friends.

Ali~

<small>[ December 28, 2004, 09:45 AM: Message edited by: Ali88 ]</small>

I would think she would be in breach of the anti stalking laws - most places have them these days.

Have it checked out and give info to your H saying you are concerned for the kids as you indeed are, & have a lawyer write to her to cease & desist or else.

Justhurt,
Im doing great really,my M is not looks like divorce for us but I feel stronger than I have in years.My Christmas was wonderful,and yours?? Thanks for asking.

Your H does not want people to know of the A but unfortunantly that is part of what happens when we do what we are not suppose to.Its called paying the consiquence(sp)he will just have to be a man and face up to what ever happens.

You my friend do NOT need this type of harrasment going on because if it does not stop it will wear YOU down and thats not right.

Take care,stay strong.

Thanks for all of the advice.... Ali, we live in California, I am planning on confronting her face to face... after the new year..I already have a plan to confront her at her job. we have been talking about changing our numbers we haven't because we are selling our house and moving when we move we will have to get a new number, moving to a new city... I manage a Tanning place, when people call there since this is not my full time job I have told them to give the people that call for me my other work cell phone, ( I can't get that number changed.) So I believe one of the girls at the salon gave her the number not knowing. I am trusting my h more and more.. But he know I check his cell bill and the home phone bill. He calls me everytime she calls , if he answers or not, and the next morning I check the phone and it is all what he said. Ginger... I am glad to hear that you are feeling stronger , My Christmas was good and we were really having fun togather without the kids until sunday night , I tryed not to let it bother me, but then when she called the next morning to see if I was mad...than I was furious... I do not deserve this at all I don't want to look around and see if she is sitting out side my house when I come home from my second job... the scary thing is she drives by my second job and sit in the parking lot... ( she use to tan there) and I knew what kind of car she drove I would call the pd and have them remove her... after d-day she wreaked her car.. It was brought into the dealership my husband use to work at. So we have no Idea if it is the same car or a different one... I have put in a call to our pd friend... I probaly won't hear from him until friday...

WOW! What a psycho!

She obviously doesn't have enough to do in her spare time other than to watch you. Scary!

I am glad to hear that you are moving to a different city. Can your husband change his cell phone number? Just remember to get your new # unlisted. How far away is the city? I think you can block out her number or get privacy manager on your phone too. That machanically screens out any unwanted numbers you choose to program in.

Do you have a plan on how you are going to confront her? Be careful! Let us know how you are doing after that. But please, please, please becareful. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> Have you ever confronted her before?

Let us know!!!

Ali~

Justhurt
I am so glad to hear that you are doing good.I have always believed in marriage,still do I guess but I also see now that it takes two to make a marriage work.

I hope that you are able to put this all behind you and go forward in life.
As for OW is there anyway she can find out where you are moving to?? I sure hope not.

If you can post it where in CA do you live??

Best of luck

Ali we are only moving about 15 mins from where we live now... I just hope when our house sells she isn't watching us when we move... Yes I am going to go to her work.. she works in a deli, and I have a few friends that I have confided in and they said they would go with me... Oh I will be careful.... I will let her make the first physical move and then it will be self defense. From what my H told me she is afraid of me... she should be.Ginger I live in Fairfield... Well here are a few more scary things... My H has been telling me all of the weird thing that she would do. It is kinda like Single White Female ( the movie when the roommate is trying to be her.).. Lets see she started having her nails done by the same person as me. She tryed to get my H to giver her the name & phone # of the girl who does my hair. She made an appointment with the same plastic surgeon, that I went to .... She would drive by my 2nd job on a saturday to see if I was there and then go to the softball field where my daughter was playing and my H was coaching, and stand at the fence. She show up at one of my H softball games, I was playing the same night so I couldn't go. She would see that I was working and then call him and say I am going to come over... and he would say no you are not. Here is the kicker.. she introduced him to her parents.. and they were ok with the fact that he was still Married... she told her parents that he was married. I can't believe that . I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE HOW BOLD SHE IS ... She also to my H that she was going to rent a house in our neighborhood, and get a 3 bedroom and fix one room up for our daughter so that she could live with them. over my cold dead lifeless body.... would I ever let that happen, both of her kids hate her.... I asked him where did she get the idea that our daughter would live with you.... my H said that is when thing were getting to weird. No kidding. My H also told me that one day she called him and they were talking and out of the blue she said if we had a kid togather it would be so cute... well that is when my H lost it. ( That would be my biggest fear) But it has been almsot 4 months so I think she would have used that card already. I told my H I do not think I could handle that ... So thank god that didn't happen. Oh here is a freakish thing, she had a girl named wendy call him and say you better watch yourself, because Your wife is having heather and I follow you. He called me and told me this and acted like he was a little mad, I said please I do not know any one named wendy and if I was having you followed I would not have them call you and tell you. Well after that happen she called and he didn't look at the phone and it was her asking if he was made at me beacuse I was having him followed.. Hello dead give away that it was OW that set that up. I told my H that if this continues I will get a restraining order, and have it served by a sherif at her work.

Justhurt
Sounds to me like your H got mixed up with a "fatal attraction" wierdo.
Oh the price we pay when we cheat!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This woman is wacko please be careful and watch yourself if she is willing to do all that there is no telling what else she would do.

Ahh she is just bored with her life. It sounds like ol' psycho found a sucker (your H) to give her attention. And like a little lost puppy, she follows him every where.
Instead of her spending money on plastic surgery, why not a dating service? I wonder if they would do a complete back ground check? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I would suggest when you move, you move when she is scheduled to work. I know that might be difficult. But hey, it is the only way to safeguard yourself and the sanity between you and your husband. Since you don't know what kind of car she drives, call her work find out when she is scheduled to work and wait for her to drive up. Then while you are moving you can keep an eye out on her. Go get a restraining order. Because that looks like the only way to get her to stop.

Has your husband told her flat out to stop calling her? That the affair is over? I mean in a stern voice drill into her scanky head sort of way? If he is talking to her with any sincerity, she obviously is taking it the wrong way and might think there is a light of hope of them getting back together again. So basically your husband needs to be mean to her. A flat out jerk! Weird! I never gave a suggestion to anyone to be a jerk before. Hee heee! But seriously, that should be looked into.

I would not suggest a physical fight. Even if she does through out the first punch. Let her. Make her look bad not you. That way you can get her arrested for battery! Get it!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Then it will be a lot easier for you to get a restraining order. Because she is the one who went psycho on you. All you did was went over there to tell her to stop harassing her.

If you ever get frustrated, since you play softball, go to the park with your bat and ball and start practicing line drives between the short stop and second base. Oh, heck, just rip that thing into the air and pretend it is her head you want to smash in and watch it fly into space. I would take out my frustration on my weights. Until I pulled a muscle! Ouch! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Physical exercise really works well.

Well, can you order me a honey smoked turkey thinly shaved on whole wheat for me. No mayo and lots of mustard!

I hope things work out for you and your husband.

Ali~

Yes he has told he many times that it is over... do not call , and she just doesn't get it. Before he hung up on her on monday he said F*** off and die ... that would some it up for me.... I can only wait to see what happens on new years... that should be intresting if she finds the party, I wouldn't order a sandwich from her she probaly poison it... My husband had an opportunity to swich jobs and he did I just hope she doesn't find him there.... I am sorry I just want to beat her A** so bad it would just make me fell like I got the point across... you know... I am just at a loss that women do these types of things, she wants to be like me.... ewe... scary.....