I'm don't trust my H. I think he is talking to the one he had affair with. I have asked and he said no. but I think i should ask her what do you think? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Sounds to me like he is still having an affair. It won't do you any good to ask the other woman. All she will do is lie.

Assume he is still having an affair and start Plan A. You can read all about it on the link in my signature line. Also you can start making the changes that you can make in you. If there is anything your husband complained about, work on it.

This likely has very little to do with you, but more to do with his problems. Keep reading and posting here, and we will help you through this. It does get much better.

Do you know how they are keeping in touch? Or how you think they are communicating? Just curious- I thought the same about my husband... and I was right but it was a different woman!!! And I just happen to "catch" him on his computer. Let me know if I can help you more. And always remember- a woman's intuition is usually right. And also know this- I know EXACTLY how you feel right now!!!!

My best,

Have you read up about Plan A and Plan B on this site?
It sounds to me like you need to try and do plan A, which is basically about stopping all love busters (LBs) and trying to fill emotional needs (ENs), at the same time as exposing the A to all people who will be sigificant to your H, like family, workplace and close friends. Do you have any evidence that your H's A is continuing ? Phone bills etc are useful for this.

I would avoid any contact with the OW at this point in time, as it will most likely depress you at best, or cause you to have a violent reaction at worst, which could get you into a lot of trouble. Also, you are not likely to get the truth in any case. Its best to try and find out for yourself in other ways, and if the answer is yes, try and Plan A and remember to expose the A. IF you haven't already, read everything you can on this site, and also order and read the books. They are really useful. And keep posting. You will probably get a better response on the GQ board.

Good luck and I'm sorry for your pain!

my best,
I'm sorry you're experiencing these feelings of suspicion and doubt right now. To be honest just from what you said I'm not all that certain he is having a continued relationship w/ ow. Unlike some of the others I don't believe that all ows lie. In fcat for me it was my experience that my h's ow told the truth the whole truth. I honestly think she just felt the need to come clean and let everything ou and partially I think she thought totall disclosure would send me out the door. Well that didn't happen. Anyway. I think you should try and believe your husband if he's told you he's not having contact w/ her. I would personally try and bring up the topic again at a mutually agreeable time so you can express you feeling of concern. Maybe this will help H better aide and support you and the pain you are going through.