Your fun to tease with, that's why!!

How long has it been since DDay for you? And, why haven't you been intimate yet? Any reason other than the slut's tounge thing?

Also, how in the heck do I get those dang icons to work? Just one more thing I can't get to work. (Slight humor!)

True.... here it is: www.eblaster.com

Let me know if you need ANY help with it. I sorta know computers. Do you and your H have the same computer? Let me know. And as for how you tell your pastor- "my husband has sought out another woman"... or "my husband cheated on me"... "my husband broke our marriage vows and was with another woman"... "the sorry SOB has been with a slut" he he he..... sorry about the last one but I wanted you to smile one last time before you left here. Just know- we will be here when you get home- and I have been in your shoes and had to tell my therapist of 11 years- that once again my H cheated on me. So, just remember-- HE DID THIS NOT YOU!!!! Ok? Best of luck to you- all my happy thoughts are with you!

I only have about 10 more minutes. Better post fast!

you did make me smile.
You know, I find myself refering to her as that slut lately. I don't really hate her anymore than I did before, but it feels good to remind my hubbie that he fell for a frickin' nutbag slut. AAGGHH! Aliens must have taken over my body. That wasn't me talking <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Anyway, gotta run. If you have time tonight please check in, because I know I will need some major HELP!!!!!!!

If you only knew that my personality is one of teasing! You already know me!!! As for the smileys-- they are in the bottom left corner and the bottom of the box you are typing in the reply. Just put your mouse on it and click. It might take a few seconds for it to work but when you see it on your reply- it's not the actualy face- it looks more like a colon and a letter together. Are you a little slow?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> he he he...

As for not being intimate... I just have those visions. My Dday was Dec. 18th. But that is Dday #2- the first Dday was July 5th, 2004. That one was not physical but emotional. But to me- does it matter???? And after the 1st Dday I was intimate about 4 days after... and then we have this 2nd Dday- so I am a little hesitant this time. So how many weeks away from Dday am I? I can't count! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

And no threats of leaving me here alone... turd! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Praying for you True. Just tell the Pastor the truth. Period.

Prob won't post again till tomorrow.

Cya..and Dog Lady! ha

True- I will be here!! PROMISE! I am a bit under the weather so I'm on the couch all day!!!!

BEST of luck!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

TURD? Why I oughta <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> ... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

If you've not been intimate for that long don't let your H come home and see you on the couch. He may not take "no" for an answer!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

If you've not been intimate for that long don't let your H come home and see you on the couch. He may not take "no" for an answer!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

1 minute and counting.

Over and out.

Hi Guys! I'm back from my day out. My h was meeting with her today at 1:30 with the manager too...work stuff. So we agreed that I would call him in the middle of the meeting so he could tell me he loves me and make her unconfortable. I did. It went fine. It is going to be an on going set up whenever he needs to meet with her...to make her uncomfortable so maybe she'll leave and he won't have to.

Do I love him? I don't know. He thought he loved her. I don't trust my feelings. I can't make a decision on my feelings. I'm too logical for that.

I'm not trying to throw it in his face...really. I just try and remind him when he says things like "I need to stay in the word (bible) and need to surround myself with Christian men" I said "you knew that before this. So why did it get this far?" I just want him to think through EVERYTHING. I want him to realize he began the affair because he was weak and because he felt he deserved a groupie to boost his ego...you know like Bill Clinton and Monica. I do like to make him feel a fool for falling for a slut too...like True. I want him to feel the humilation of acting like a schoolboy when he had a wife and 2 kids. He did say to me on New Year's Eve when we were out having a good time that he couldn't believe he fell for her too. He said "In college I always knew to treat a ho like a ho. That was rule #1...never fall for a ho." He then says he looks back on it like it was someone else. He feels sooooooo removed from the whole situation. He can't believe it was him.

Anyway, this weekend we are going over all the finances. I always trusted my husband with the money. But now I don't and I know that he spent money taking her to dinner and buying her gifts. So now I am going to have to pay close attention to the money.

Do you want to know how much I believed him? I saw a charge on our ATM when I was not even looking because I never really checked that stuff. It was for Victoria Secret and I realized the charge date did not coincide with any of the Victoria Secret stuff I had received from him. So I asked him about it. He said that it was for her! But that it was a joint gift from the office for her birthday. She told them that that was what she wanted. So he said everyone paid him and he picked it up. It was for $100 even so I knew it was for a gift card and I bought his story. So now he has lost his control over the money in our house.

When I told him I wanted to know about the money he said "Good. It is about time you get more involved." I don't want to be involved and resent that I have to NOW do this. I struggle so much!

hi all! I am back from the pastor's office <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> It didn't really help, because that was not his job, but it did feel good to talk to someone outside my family, who knows us personally. No offense to any of you who have listened so well. He said we sounded like we were on the right track, and we prayed for all of us--even her! Especially her, she is such a messed up woman. What kind of woman goes after amarried man? I mean it's one thing to fall for a guy, who is married, but to purposefully GO AFTER him? Yeah, I know what you're going to say, but your husband should have still said no. What can I say, he's an idiot? Even he agrees with that!
Anyway, 2, it all sounds so hard for you. Did you say you were in counceling? I hate to say this, but just because your husband is Christian, and goes to church, does not mean he thinks like that. I mean, as you said yourself, he KNEW he had a support network in the church and still did that. I would tell him something like you need to LIVE the Word and not just talk about it. So many Christians do that, I must admit, I do that too. Don't mean to be preachy, I hate when people do that. It must be because I was just in the Pastor's office.
DogMom, thanks for being there! And thanks for the website I will check it out!

Hi True! Glad you saw your pastor. We have had a pastor friend counsel us as well as professional counseling from a Christian woman. Counseling as been great and we have benefitted from it.

I pray for the OW too. Just like your OW she pursued my husband and unfortunately that is all she knows. Get a load of this one. Her mother left her father for her own sister's husband. That's right she left for her brother-in-law. Poor thing! That's all she knows. And she must feel like such a failure (and viewed as one in the family) for losing the married man to his wife! Anyway, you are right. She needs prayer as do our husbands to not give into temptation.

I know that my husband being a Christian does not exempt him from falling. In some cases it makes him more vunerable...the devil is out to get him. But I guess, I put all my faith (more than I should have since God is the only one deserving of that kind of faith...which I NOW understand) into my husband. He tells me all the time NOW, "If I can fall, you can fall, anyone can fall." He says "If anyone would have told me a year earlier that I would be sleeping with a whore, fall for her, risk my family and my job, ruin my reputation, and turn from God so blantantly for a year, I would have bet the farm that it wouldn't have happened." But it did...and the fall-out is even greater than we could have imagined.

Please find good counsel. My husband is beginning to understand how this happened. Why it was so important to him that some RANDOM woman's admiration meant more to him than his own wife's. He is understanding that his conflict avoidant behavior led to a unfulfilling marriage in his eyes. I hate to sound this way, but I take NO responsibility for the marriage or his affair. I could not fix anything that I did not know was broken. 6 months into his affair I started senses MAJOR problems, I wisked us off to marriage counseling so quick it made his head turn. I told him "I'M NOT HAPPY!" and I did something about it. So he had the same option. I understand why he didn't take it, but I take NO responsiblity for it. I'm his wife...not a mind reader.

True... glad to know you really don't "need" me that bad! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I have been worried about you... but I also know that anticipation is the worst.

2, I very much agree with you about not benig able to fix something that you don't know is not broken. How frustrating to have to think that you put so much into fixing it when you sensed something but he just screwed a slut! UGH!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> MEN!!!!! Why do we need them? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Only kidding. 2, be SO PROUD of yourself for seeking help the second you sensed something. I did the same... didn't help. The WORST part of my story??? We had a serious discussion 6 days before he was making out with the slut about fixing things and ALL my evergy was focused on fixing things... and he was figuring out ways to meet with the slut!!!!

OH OH OH!!! Wanna hear how much of a slut she REALLY is? Her mother died on Monday- on Saturday- the very Saturday following- not even a week later- she was cheating on her husband!!! Did I tell ya'll (my Texas words!) she is married???? I think I failed to spread that joy.

One more thing 2, I think the thing that trips me up so much with your story... he continues to have contact with her- voluntary or not... work related or not... he still must have contact with her. Isn't it ground rule #1- no more contact with the OW. ??? I would have a VERY hard time with that.

Dog MOM, I have posted another topic about that subject only. If you check the post from earlier, you see I got into it with him about that. I told him he needed to be short, cut her off in mid sentence if she is chatting about unrelated work things. If he didn't, he was going to have to quit. So he knows where I stand and he says he will do that from here on out. I have a lot of feelings on the topic and will get into it with you tomorrow. He is home and dinner is ready! Good night

Rocked! he he he... so sorry I didn't get back with you b4 you logged off... I have been very under the weather today... probably why I have allowed you to abuse me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> But I will get you Thursday... I have called in sick to work again!!! I think the flu caught me this time!! But anyhow... I am so glad you learned the smileys!!!! I'm so proud of you- such a star student!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

TTYL!!! (talk to you later..)

Dear God...True..2,
Wow! I leave for the evening and look what I missed. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Just checking the posts. Will be back in about an hour.

L8tr

Hey all. Here I am--the early bird. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I don't know about you, but I haven't slept past about 4am since D-day. And I don't usually go to bed until after midnight. Is that normal? I don't feel I was up this much with my 2 year old, and she is a HORRIBLE sleeper.
Hope you all had a good night. Mine was fairly uneventful. Well, no, the movers were at my house(remeber I'm not) and they royally screwed us with the price. Why am I learning all these new lessons the hard way? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />