DM,
Sorry to hear that you aren't feeling that well. Just makes for more anticipation of your breaking the dry spell. Have you mentioned that to your H or do you plan on surprising him? Either way watch out, the tiger in his tank will be roaring!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Hey All!
Boy, a lot has happened since I logged off. I totally feel out of the loop! I've been thinking about you all, and praying for you as well. I had a really bad day yesterday, and wanted to talk to all so bad! Weird, huh? I've only known you a couple of days, and I consider you guys such a great support group already!
I only have a short time to talk today, because I'm using the computer in my H's new office, and I can't stay too long. Luckily, there are no women to worry about here, and the OW is back in our old state. I would say that I hope she is rotting somewhere, but I really am trying to be a nice Christian woman who believes in forgiveness and love! Let me tell you that SUCKS! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Anyway, I'm going to be reading the posts, and hopefully I will catch up soon!

True,
Thanks for your candid honesty...and your prayers. I have to run. Leave me/the group some posts and we'll check 'em out later.

Ditto for me on how you feel about this group even after so short a time. Hey, when we all meeting somewhere for dinner? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

True...leave your H some surprise notes around his new office. Make a few of them "coupons" for things he'd enjoy: back rub, foot massage, makeout session in the car at Lover's Leap. (YOu get the picture!) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Hey guys!

Back from the mall and shopping is pretty theraputic. But I'm still having a bad day. Let me tell you guys what's on my mind.

Last night I discovered the A started before my son was even a month old and maybe even before. He can't "remember" when it all started. I don't believe him.

Based on some things he said, I felt like there were others before this one. So I confronted him. He told me about 2 girls who I knew he had been very friendly with. He told me he had inappropriate conversations with both of them and they had admitted mutual attraction. But he told me "they respected my situation" (being married.) The OW did not respect his situation since she knew me and sent an office gift to us for the baby all the while screwing my husband. She is totally disgusting!

So here is what I've been dealing with all day. I feel as though my husband was saying there would have been several others if they had been low life whores like the OW. At first I felt better about it because I realized it wasn't just that the OW was sooo irristable. It was that she was willing...plain and simple. But then I started thinking about how he "fell" for her a complete slut! Then I started thinking I'm not buying his story.

When I told him I thought there were others he asked me why and I said "Are you going to answer me?" Then he paused for a little bit and said "I'm thinking. I'm trying to remember if I kissed either of them inappropriately or something." Now how long would it take you to think something like that? About half second. And he's pondering it for several minutes. I told him I don't believe him (and I don't) and I think he knows I will never be able to prove it and he doesn't see how it is relevant. I think that is why it was soooooo easy for him to start up with the OW...because he had done it before and got away with it.

In addition to that I have been struggling with the OW sooooo much too today. I had really started to feel God's forgiveness with her. I was ready to see her and show her grace. Now I want to kill her! I am truly appauled that a girl would do that, screw a guy with an infant child! I told my husband a hooker would screw you for money, but would probably be totally disgusted that you had a wife and infant child. She (the OW) KNEW me and didn't even care. I told my husband I think she is proud of it. She got you to leave us to screw her. I think she is proud of herself.

So now I don't want to deal with her at all. I can't believe he even runs the risk of running into her. She is capable of anything! I can't believe she turned out to be such a horrible person. I really did like her.

Anyway, I'm off to do some bible study and prayer. I'll check in with you later. Any advice would be appreciated.

2-Hmmm...

I know there was more than one OW with my sitch (at least two that I found out about. He also told me he has had other "interests" but not P in our past.). I don't think these women were there because "he got away with it". I just don't think he "thought" of me during this process. Sad as that sounds, but I think WS's when trying to get their "fix" so to speak become the most selfish people in the world. And like I have read..."a fog" blankets all judgement.

I feel right now, when in my angry mode, I am more angry with his lies and lack of the "whole truth", than with any of the OW. Again, he "used" them. And they definitely "used" back.
I feel most of OW are just plain stupid. There may be a few smart ones who attract married men and play on their (I don't know what word to use here) "kindness" and try to make their A more than what it really is, a "pretend relationship".

I asked my H why he felt he needed to tell the OW anything in the end. Just cut her off. Meaning, why in a sense or any sense, did he care about her feelings? He says, he was just being him,a (ironic here) "nice guy".

2, try not to "stew" in this. It's bringing you so down. Maybe it's just the rain. At least your H is feeling comfortable enough to tell you more. Don't make him close down to you.

Again openess and honesty, isn't that what we all want with our spouses??? A working marriage?? Get it out! Take your marriage back!

Oh, 2, I know just how you feel! It really pisses me off that my H can't even remember the day in which he decided our marriage was worth less than some psycho *itch. I ask him questions about kissing her and things he/she said and he says, True, I just cant remember those details! AAGGHHH!!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Also, about the OW. This girl knew about me and our kids. My H has pictures of us all around the office, and told her throughout the A that he still loved me and wasn't ever planning on leaving me, and that when we moved their A would be over. She said she didn't care if he felt that way, she just wanted to be with him in any way. PLEASE.
I, too, wonder how my intellegent H could be so stupid and fall for someone like her. I try to forgive her, and feel bad that she is so messed up. But what kind of woman goes to a movie theater to be with a married man, and then kisses him! And then tells him she is touching herself while thinking of him! He just told her that he couldn't offer more than friendship! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
Sorry to rant, but like I said I know just how you feel, and like you it gets me madder and madder. That's when I realize that there is part of me that DOES hate my H. I may love him, too, but when I think of how he found this nutbag even the slightest bit appealing, I hate him.
I hope that it makes you feel somewhat better that you are not alone in your thoughts. I will be thinking of you tonight!
Rocked, I thought the same thing. We should all get together sometime and finally meet. Maybe next year when its close to all of our d-days!!!
Oh, and BTW, I wanted you to know, that I know view myself as pretty *amn good in bed, too. I know, I didn't think that the other day, but I think I'm starting to get some of my self-esteem back. At least in that aspect. When its all back, my H better watch out!

2 and True,

Don't dwell on these women. They are drawing away your goodness, your strength and most of all your power. Breathe...

Holiday,
I TRY not to dwell, but remember this is still pretty new to me, and I AM getting better! I only go through these emotions when I have nothing to do but think. If I keep busy and plan my life with my H, or even just talk to him, I don't think about the OW much. And he tells me he only thinks about her when I bring her up, so I need to STOP!
Anyway, its time to go. If I can I will try to come back later. I can't wait until I have MY internet access back!!

Guys, more devestating news today. I'm crying as I write.

I heard from a girl who works with my husband. We share a common interest in scrapbooking and we have become friends over the year. She called me today to talk about some scrapbooking event and then she said "I want you know I heard and I am so sorry for you." I wanted to die! I tried to play it off, but she repeated herself. So I told her it was all true.

She then informed me that the OW had flaunted the affair to some people in the office. She was proud of it. It was from this first hand that she had found out, not until recently though. She said that she was never fond of her and believes looking back on it, that she had her eyes on my husband from the beginning (she's been there 2 years.) Comments she made about her type "Big, black football player types" my husband. So she thinks she's proud of her conquest.

In her opinion, she thinks I should come to the office and flaunt him in her face. I don't know what to do about it.

I called him crying and told him that he know longer has to wonder if everybody knows...everybody knows! She told me she was going to let him know herself. She felt she knew us both well enough to not just ignore the subject.

Anyway, I told him "You picked a REAL winner!" I think you guys deserve each other! He told me he was sorry. I hung up on him. I'm sick with grief.

Oh 2, don't let her shine...please rethink your conversation with your H. He needs you now more than ever. It's out there. It's been out there. The OW has nothing you have everything...your children. Your H was a fool, but this can change. Open up your heart, sweetie...open it up again. Call him back and tell him you need him home tonight. Remember..."he ended it". The OW is only pulling a straws. She's getting to you and you are letting her. Get to that phone!!!!

I can't holiday. I can't. I am so broken. I can't. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Make it a quick call. I think you need to. Are you angry at him right now or her? If it's her for what she's doing at his place of work, which is beyond your H's control, then call. If you are just plain angry at him, then write him a letter right now and get it off your chest. Try not to sit and make yourself more miserable. It will carry out to your babies. Your H loves you and has been trying hard to make up for his mistakes with you...don't shut him out. This is just my thoughts...I hope I can help...

Hey,
How about a new post (thread)...we can name it "Stupid OW...(and OM"), for Rocked. Would this cheer you up 2?

Or how about "%&*#@$ OW & OM"?

Hi all... I am here after a long days work... who is here???

Hi DM,
I'm here in and out. Going to put dinner in the oven and I will check back. 2 is having a really bad day.

I'm in and out too.

2...what did you do?

Are you feeling any better tonight?

I didn't do anything. I'm waiting for him to come home.

Hi Guys. Signing off for the night. I hope to hear from all of you soon. Rocked did you ever get my e-mail?

Tomorrow I have counseling with the counselor only. Then we both meet with her Wed. Tonight I intend to find out from my husband the EXACT timeline and see what his motive was when the A started. I believe that the OW made herself available to him, but I believe he was seeking it. So whoever was there would have done. That is what I believe now.

Part of that makes me feel better because I don't feel like he was in love with her while I was delivering his baby. I feel as though he needed an escape from reality and she provided it.

I have a question for all of you. How did your spouse end the affair? Did they write a letter, call them with you on the other line? How was it ended?

My husband ended it with her on a phone call (remember this was before I found out) and told her he couldn't do this anymore. So he never told her that he didn't love her or that he NOW realizes she is a slut whore skank bag that made herself available...that he totally used her.

I want him to say that to her, but I don't know how it should be done...if at all. I'm afraid she thinks he still loves her and is with me because it is the right thing to do. I want her know how little he thinks of her now. You guys have any advice?

True, tell us all about the new house and state! Are you excited?