I guess I intentionally postponed posting until this hour of the night so I can just do it and go to bed before I read some replies.<P>Brief update:<P>Dec. 21- W sends me a "thank you card" for being understanding, etc. The same day (I think) I LB bad (posted a topic on this about the scene in the parking lot, the e-mail & e-card that I sent, etc. etc.).<P>Dec. 24- Christmas Eve, we had guests and was a joyful night until later (again posted about this and about Dec. 25- sad X-Mas, etc. etc.).<P>Dec. 25- W goes to OP's and stays there all afternoon with OP & daughter (not mine, she was w/ me although later went to play at a neighbor's.<P>Dec. 26- The big bang!!! OP had to work & my W offered to take care of OP's child- I went out to deliver something to a client (it took me only 20 minutes) & when I came back the girl was there; W had said before that it was a remote possibility that she would come and only if I approved (I never said yes, in fact all the time I was opposed to the idea of the 2 children playing together), but I guess as soon as I left W called OP to inform that the coast was clear. Cute child this one and yes, she spent all day with my d.<P>Some friends (the same that stayed until very late in Christmas Eve) came over and we chatted for a while the girls played & sang together with the tunes of the Back Street Brats or whatever their name is (some pretty good songs, though). Later OP called… I answered & for the first time was actually able to speak when I heard the voice on the phone… I asked, "have you eaten yet". Later I told my W to invite OP in for a drink, that it was OK- I figured it was a "nice" Christmas gift ($%@#!!- what was I thinking?); she came over and we all sat at the table, OP next to me- I acted as if IT was just somebody else or nobody, we told jokes and considering the odd situation actually had a good time. While all this was happening my friends were drinking (they drink like Cossacks- no offense intended), so was OP & so was I. By 9 PM it was decided that we should go out to look at the fireworks (every night from Dec. 22nd to Jan. 1st). So we went, and we rented a boat and all of us are "enjoying" the beautiful lights to say good bye to 1999- actually the only ones really having a good time were the children, W & OP kinda did OK, I was feeling miserable & my friends knew that OP was probably OP so were not having a great time either.<P>We came back home & my friends had to drive OP and daughter, 'cause OP was totally blasted. Once they left I had it… felt lonely, sad & angry at myself for the kind of jerk that I had just shown to be- felt disappointed, too, I never thought I would put myself through this kind of humiliation… then OP called to say that they arrived home OK —thank you very much, who asked? Well I guess my W did because they talked for about 15 minutes. Then W hands me the phone & this time I couldn't handle it… OP saying something like "I want to thank you because you are such a nice guy" or something like that; I answered: "I have to hang up, it's getting to me now, good bye".<P>Today W thank me (she did it the previous day too). Don't know how she managed to stay sober- I needed to be numb & either OP is an alcoholic or also needed some anesthesia.<P>December 27- I left at 9 for an appointment and then to the office, W didn't have to go today so she stayed with our d (the nanny is on vacation- good for her). Didn't see W all day and now she is staying at OP's (without OP's d, she went back to her dad's); my own d is staying at some friends'. So is "Home Alone 2" for me.<P>I enjoy being alone sometimes, but this way sucks.<P><BR>Alex<P>------------------<BR>Live and learn

Alex,<P>I'll post later.<P>Hang in.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

<small>[ January 30, 2005, 10:32 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Alex,<BR>I am so very proud of you. I think you showed yourself to be the grownup you are. I can only imagine the pain and suffering you had to indure, but at the same time, I do think you made major deposits in the love bank. <BR>I know how hard it is to be alone, especially during the holidays. But try to remember, we are here, so you are never truely alone.<BR>Be proud of yourself, and how you handled things. I am.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Lots of love,<BR>Viki<P><BR>

Alex,<P>I think that you have done an extremely wonderful job of showing all involved what a great person you can be.<P>You were the perfect gent. given the stressful situation that you were subjected to. I do not think that I could of handled the eve with as much finesse as you did (of course, I would have needed the booze to help me get through too.)<P>Hopefully, wife got a good conscience beating while watching you in your grandeur.<P>Stay positive. <P>Meg

Hanora, Viki, wafflestoo,<P>Thanx for your replies.<P>Tuesday & the day is bright although a little chilly, last night I even wore pajamas –almost never do- & got an extra blanket.<P>I guess facing the IT (new name for OP) had made me stronger, I was able to compare forces with her in my territory while I was with my friends- she was a stranger; I was good with her child (I love children anyway & this one is OK). I came to realize that other than having “the right equipment” OP doesn’t have much to offer my W. I think I can win my W back (& if she doesn’t come back it'll be her loss).<P>Last night I didn’t check MB until I posted & then went to do some chores- I am in the mood to get rid of things that don’t work (just like my W but in a different fashion). Got rid of 10 YEARS!!! of magazines, cleaned my briefcase of useless papers, cleaned the house —except the floors ‘cause I hate moping, probably mañana— and DID LAUNDRY —another thing I dislike— (PLUS I saved some money on phone calls for Internet). I am sure that when she came by she noticed I’ve done things that I don’t like & that the house looks actually pretty good considering the situation.<P>Anyway, I don’t consider myself a jerk anymore, a bit stupid maybe but not more than that.<P>Bill,<P>Where are ya?<P>Alex<P>------------------<BR>Live and learn

<small>[ January 30, 2005, 10:33 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Alex,<P>I'm here sorry I didn't respond last night.<P>I'm glad your doing better.<P>It hard to keep a positive outlook keep working at it.<P>I write more later.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>