Hi,
I am looking for some advice. I just found out that my husband made an attempt to cheat on me. Thank goodness it didn't happen (because he tried with our nanny), but he did try. I do not know what to do though because I kissed another man 3 years ago and he is saying that is why he did it (to get me back). Of course the nanny is gone, but I am angry and hurt that he tried to do this. We have 4 kids, so I want to save our marriage, but I do not think I can ever look at him the same way again. Can anyone give me some insight?

Thank you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

YES

thank goodness it failed!!

Now I suspect he has never really accepted your 'kiss' from a few years ago - obviously an emotional attachment to another man - nor forgiven it.
Men do think about this differently and I wouldn't be surprised if he did in fact use this as an excuse... but excuse it is dont think it justifies his actions because it doesn't.

One wrong does not make another wrong right does it? You say in your post "I do not think I can ever look at him the same way again." yes ok.....have you thought he may have the same feeling about you from 3 years ago and feels free to do what he probably feels/suspects you did???

NOW this is not a 4x2 just want yo to consider whats going on in his thinking... messed up as it is. Do you think he has help onto his resentment all this time instead of discussing and working out and exploring the whys and whens???

You really need a marriage building weekend I think to relearn the communications skills with each other, but if not possible, then read all the basics on this site and get the following books to read, him too, ....

His Needs, Her Needs by Harley and

Fall in Love, Stay in Love also by Harley and available in the bookstore on this site as well as most larger retail bookstores.


then ask away here for some help or advice.