I guess I'm a newbee . . . again since it's been over a year since I posted by depressing story. I honestly thought my troubles with my WH were over, I thought wrong.

My WH began his emotional affair on a business trip in 10/2002, which continued via cell phone when he returned. He promised no contact and we went to counseling. Then in 5/2003 I found he purchased his own secret cell phone and was still talking to her. He moved out for 2 days, destroyed the cell phone and back to counseling. The past few years were up and down, but I felt we were on the road to happiness.

It was difficult to see him go on business trips again to the same area where the EA started, but I had regained trust and actually began to fall back in love with my husband.

He recently took a 10-week trip (of course to the same location where the OW lived), but he was considerate and caring to my concerns and everything was good. We attended our last counseling appointment together on November 20 (2004) and WH decided (and I did too) that we were ready to stop counseling and begin our live.

Fast forward to Christmas Eve, I was sending e-cards to family and friends when I noticed the e-greeting login was different. I clicked to see who it was and it was 5 Christmas e-greetings to, you guessed it, the OW from my hubby! I researched back to November and he sent 12 cards in one day to her - and they were very detailed and graphic.

He admitted he loved her and missed their sexual encounters. Needless to say, I was speechless. He seen me reading them and had nothing to say. He admitted to me he DID love her and they had sex several times during his last business trip and he's had contact with her for the past 2+ years via a calling card from work. I didn't want to upset the kids during the holidays, so we struggled to be "happy couple" till after the New Years, when he moved out.

So as you can see (sorry this is so long), I've been through so many “Just Found Outs” and “Recovery” I don't know where to begin. Plan A worked (or so I thought) for DD #1 and DD #2. Now I'm implementing Plan B. I just need some reassurance from other's who has been through Plan B. I've read the SAA chapter 4x on this, but am struggling.

I truly love this man! We have been married for almost 18 years (together for 20), but I'm so lost and betrayed. He says he still loves me, but needs time to work things out. I have an individual counseling appointment tomorrow - so I'm hanging by a thread until then.

Any support or words of encouragement is appreciated.

If anything for you right now, I will say a little prayer for your peace of mind.
I am sorry. My heart breaks for you.
I too am "just finding out" for the second time (last one was over two years ago...H has mini A's).
I offer an strength I have to you. I am here for you if you need me.

Thank you for your support. I need all the help I can get at this point.

Hi Stef,

Sorry to hear about your situation. Isn't the computer a great way to find out stuff, though? I happened on some pix and emails my WH had received and sent to/from the OW last weekend. I have been very suspicious of his actions as of late anyway, so this was final confirmation. This is his third A as far as I know. He is what someone called a "serial cheater". For me this is the last straw. I haven't confronted him yet. Will be seeing legal advice this week while he is out of town. WH also denied any involvment, but I found a receipt from a lawyer dated back in November. I have tried it all: changing to please him, counseling, etc. He will do nothing to help so I'm done.

I feel your pain.

<small>[ January 05, 2005, 01:14 PM: Message edited by: StillShocked ]</small>

I can feel your pain. I recently confronted my H about his A. He keep saying he was having an A, so I told him I had a PI on him. Then I took my H to his OW house. I can't find the words to tell you what he looked like. You know what has helped me God and going to the gym I'm in a size 6 now. I read poems about strong women and how God has gave us the ability to handle more then our husbands have to gave. Keep your chin up you'e not along. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hi Steffany,

I'm really sorry for your continued pain. How he can do this to a person, I'll never know. It's beyond cruel.

What was your plan? I'm thinking it was something like 'lets do MC, see if we can recover, and get past this, become stronger'.

What was your plan if he failed? You've given him more chances than most. I know you love the man he used to be.

I see no reason in the world NOT to do Plan B... the best the board has ever seen. Your other options are continued torture or divorce? He's obviously not making the right decision on his own. I wish you much strength and courage! - Dru