I'm sorry - this topic posted before I was done writing it!!

Anyways - my husband told me he may have given me crabs.
He coaches highschool wrestling. The wrestler he spars with (heavyweight and he IS hairy!) told my husband he had crabs.
My husband says when he realized he had them - he told me.

I really would like to believe him - but I also suspect this is an unlikely story.
What do you think?

Hello diane,

Hmmm. I would be suspicious about his story.One way to find out is to go directly to the source if you know this man.Pediculosis pubis is most commonly transmitted by sexual contact,less commonly by clothing.

In any event,this has been the first time I have heard of this type of problem here on MB.I would suggest you investigate further.

How has your marriage been lately? Any issues or unusual behavior from your H?

O

Nothing unusual at all.
He seems upset I would be suspicious.
If he is lying then he is very good at lying.

I'm not all that comfortable going to his 18 yr.old student and asking him if he has crabs.
I'd like to know if anyone knows if it is even POSSIBLE to get them this way?

They do get their legs locked together very closely. My husband and the kid are both hairy creatures.
The wrestling outfits cover the upper thighs but sometimes can ride up while they are wrestling.

I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt - but I don't want to be an idiot either.

Hi again,

Sorry,I missed the part about this being a high school student.For some reason I thought it was another adult man.However,maybe you could some how contact the parent(s) of this young man? The alternative is to believe your H and let it slide.

Also,I would expect that your H would be more understanding instead of upset that you are questioning him.In the cases of Infidelity,WS's are ususally angry when confronted because they know they are lying and the threat of discovery is looming.That is not to say that this is the case with YOUR H but you obviously have a dilemma here.That is why I would want to find some way of finding out if this is the truth from the other party in some way.Your H and the HS student BOTH need to be treated just like in cases with head lice(that I have dealt with in schools being an RN).You most likely would need to be treated too if you have had sex with your H while he was infected.

What I can tell you is that is is far more common for pubic lice to be spread by close sexual contact.It is rarer through clothing unless there is a long standing serious untreated infestation going on which is not common(in well cared for,not poverty stricken persons) because of the itching,obervation of lice in the pubic area or contact from another about exposure,etc.But it is possible.

Also I wonder if this boy wrestles with anyone else and if he has contacted them about exposure,as he would need to do.

Well,I don't have a specific answer for you.But it does present a problem.You have to decide what you feel comfortable doing about this.

I hope everything turns out ok.

O

Thank you for your response.

I would have a REALLY hard time asking this kid or his parents.
Small town y'know?

I was wondering if anyone had heard of anyone catching this from anothing other than sex.
For ex. do these types of bugs move to the hair around the pubic area? If the upper thighs are hairy- will that area be infested too? Or do these bugs strictly hang out in pubic hairs?

I've looked at some medical websites but haven't found one that gets this specific.

Thanks again

Hello,

For what it is worth, many years ago my male friend and I were playing basketball. After the showers we thought we had picked up clean towels.
Apparently it was from the used batch. I came down with crabs and my wife was not happy. Shortly after my friend came down with crabs also.
My wife also thought it was weird but that is what happened.

Thank you for your post.
I know what you mean by your wife not being happy.
Did she believe you?

diane,

If you type in STDs+crabs into one of the search engines like google....you can get some good information about transmission. Non-sexual transmission is very possible with the crabs. My H's rugby team used to pass them around to each other occasionally. Wrestling is the kind of contact sport that I would imagine would lend itself well to non-sexual transmission. If the rest of your relationship has no other red flags....I'd be inclined to believe him.

Hugs....hope this helps

Thank you so much for your post.
Yes - this does help.
I found a medical site where you can get a response from an expert.
The response to my question said that while this situation is unusual - it is possible.

My husband also told me that 2 other kids who were sparring with this same boy also contracted crabs. I'll have to decide if I'm willing to pursue this further and see if that is true or not.

We are not talking about someone who has given me any other "red flags"
In fact he has never given me any reason to doubt him. He's always where he says he is - and loves to be home with his family.

Thanks everyone for your help!

I guess I would just accept that your husband's explanation was possible. I would then watch him very closely for unexplained absences, cellphone use, emails, and just general behavior.

Have you been checked? I know that you are probably going to have to wash all the bedding, towels, etc. in very hot water to kill the little beasts.

I didn't need to get checked...part of my - not so controlled reaction- was discovering the disgusting beasties on me!! YUCK!!!(as soon as my H told me about the situation I ran to the bathroom)
That end of it has been taken care of - the cooties have been defeated.
I agree that I will need to "monitor" some things, and in that area I think my H is at a disadvantage if he does have something to hide.

But there's a balance I suppose - I don't want to turn into some sneaky superspy if he's on the up & up.

I'll tell ya what ---if I do run into this young boy - he's getting a piece of my mind!!!

I think you have every right, really an obligation, to be sneaky super-spy until you are convinced that he isn't having an affair. If he is sleeping with someone else you have a right to know this. It has an impact on your life; it could be compromising your health. He could quite possibly give you something that isn't going to go away with a shower and medicated shampoo . . .

You don't have to be a spy forever . . . just until you are sure that things are as he has explained.

About the wrestling thing; I never really understood why a man wants to roll around with another male and try to force him on his back. Yuck. I guess that is why I took Tae Kwon Do instead . . . at least the other person was just trying to hit me . . . not something that looks like forced male foreplay . . .wrestling is just so weird.

Take care

Hi Numb! I like your post here too. We think alike!

Anyway, Dianne, let me tell you what I think. I think it is possible that maybe your hubby got crabs this way, (maybe check with a doctor), but that isn't the issue. After I found out about the A the main thing I discovered about how to discover an A is to trust your gut! I wish I would have trusted mine. It was about 3-4 months info the A before my gut started telling me something was wrong. But I had nothing to go on. Not crabs, cards, anything. So I ignored it for 6 more months.

I think there is a reason why you are on Marriage Builders discussion board. You are suspecious and looking for an explaination because you don't want to believe the truth. I KNOW! I HAVE BEEN THERE. Looking back on it, I accepted every lame explanation he gave me because I was in denial. He couldn't be cheating ON ME!

Trust your gut Di. If you think there is something fishy about his story. Chances are you are right.

Now get to prying! Check his cell phone bill (I did it right on line in about 2 minutes. Text messages too. Didn't even know he got them).

Hopefully I'm wrong. I mean that. But at least you can put your mind to ease. There was NO excuse he could give me to explain the frequent calls. I accepted none, kept prying and found out. So do the same. Good luck!

Di... just asked my husband who has been a paramedic for 19 years... he said you CAN get crabs through the contact your husband is talking about-- he said you can get them through a toilet seat. If you want to know something terrible.. one time when I was in college- I went to a store to try on swimsuits- they tell you to keep your underpants on FOR A REASON!! Yes mam', I got crabs!!!!! I thought I wanted to DIE!!! So... if you have no other reason to suspect him- please don't. I know they always say trust your gut- and honestly, you need to- but don't read more in to this situation. I think he may honestly be telling the truth. And if he is always where he says he is... loves you and loves to be with his kids... don't continue to question him- it will hurt him so much.

Hope this helps at all... let me know if you need anything else.....

Haven't been on the net in a few days - and wanted to thank you all for your input.

As for some of your concerns...
I'm not afraid of the truth - I know truth can hurt - but I'm not interested in ignoring it either.
However - the reason I came to this site was to help me decipher this situation to get to the truth. I don't think the fact I visited this site automatically makes my husband guilty - that is faulty logic.
Like I said before - there have been no other "red flags" There has been no "gut instinct" either.
To be more specific - I am the one who handles our finances - our bills - our credit cards. I have access to his e-mail accounts. He has no cell phone - and there are no unusual numbers on our regular phone bill.
His friends are my friends - my friends are his friends. I have friends who work with him.
Everything is coming up clean.
The reason I came to pick the brains here is because I had the nagging question ..."what if crabs CAN NOT be caught this way?"
It obviously freaked me out to come down with the cooties - and I wanted to make sure I wasn't being taken for a fool - plain and simple.

I agree that wrestling is not a very appealing sport - even more so NOW!

Hi Diane,

Thought I'd volunteer my expertise (H.S. & collegiate wrestler, coach). Your husbands story is NOT AT ALL "UNLIKELY". Participants in close contact sports (and both greco-roman and fresstyle werstling are very close contact) are extremely susceptible to picking up any number of "nasties"...impetigo and tinea (ringworm) are the most common but pubic lice (aka crabs) are NOT unknown.

As the coach, your husband should be aware of the measures now necessary to disinfect his mats and other equipment to stem the spread of these "nasties". It's probably also an excellent opportunity to take his young men aside and explain the importance of letting the coaching staff know when there is the possibility of infection via any suspicious leasons, welts, bugs, etc. (not easy when you seen the bumps,bruises, and "mat burns" sustained by anyone engaging in the sport).

BTW, let the "coach" know that his sharing his time and expertise with these young men is admiral. Teachers and coaches hold a special place in any society but, unfortunately, generally go unrecognized (and unrewarded). Hope he's having a good season.

Hi Diane,

Glad to hear that everything is turning out OK in your check. I would hate for you to have to go through what a number of us on the site have been going through.

Keep yourself clean and happily married.

God Bless!