I really think I'm losing it. I have an H who is really really trying (most of the time) but I still am fearful all the time and suspicious every time another woman talks to him. Even my friends, maybe because it was someone close to me (supposedly) that I am so fearful. I think (when I'm rational) there is nothing I can do to stop it if its going to happen again and then that would be it. It would be his choice. But when I'm around others, which I like to be, I am totally not myself. I'm a jealous freak! I'm not the person I used to be and it bothers me alot. Guess who I take it out on, yep my H. I know, I know BIG love buster. I have to stop this but how? Any ideas???? My H's idea is to stop being around people, that is not a solution to me. I want to be able to be around him and other people and not feel jealous and crazed. Someone HELP!!!

My friend, <BR>that's a very normal reaction. Don't feel bad about it.<BR>It takes time to get back to normal, but it will happen.<BR>Just try to think that trust will come back little by little as you see more and more positive actions from your H . Avoid saying anything on an impulse reaction, think before, " do I have a reason to be worried? Has he been showing me that he's trying hard to rebuild?" most of the times this might help to stop the fear.<BR>The fear is a defense mechanism, and it comes on automatically, but you can override it little by little.<BR>ALso if you think he'llunderstand you can also explain to your H how you're feeling so he can understand any "strange" reactions from you.<BR>It is normal, and it will go away.But time is needed.<BR>TAke care<BR>Kat<P>------------------<BR>Each and everyone of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought, and the gift of understanding.

Are either of you in therapy? It sounds like you need a little help- maybe even some medication.<P>Your feelings are normal though, good luck. I am glad to hear you guys are working thru it.

Thanks to you both. Yes he is understanding and knows why I react the way I do. The problem is afterwards I feel bad because I have made him feel bad and he already feels bad enough.<P>About therapy, yes right now he is in therapy and we both have been through counseling with Dr. Harley. I am on a medicine for stress but apparently didn't take it that day. I think more than anything, its hard for me because I had so much trust before this and I just want so bad for it to be that way again. We are both really independent but I don't feel I can be this way anymore because I'm so insecure and don't enjoy when I am away from him because I'm worried....maybe more time will help, I hope!