Hello everyone.. I am really new to this so just bear with me. I am not married to my boyfriend but, we are currently living together and have been together for a year and a half. We have a very large age gap between us (Im 19 and he is 33) but, I feel that he is perfect for me. Until a few months ago, I was completely sure that he would never cheat on me until I found a very suspicious email. Here's the story:

I have the passwords to every email account he owns. He has 2. One that he used to have and used, and another that is more current. Well, occasionally I will check both just to see what he has been doing. He has no problem with that and says that it is fine. I found a email in the one that he doesn't use a whole lot saying that he signed up for a single's site. BUT, it was a sex meeting site. I thought that maybe he was just fooling around and decided to look into it further. I went and checked the profile but, a couple things were wrong... like his zipcode, birthday, hair color, etc. were off. Well, immediately I confronted him with it saying that I will leave him for this. In all of my previous relationships, I have been cheated on and will not tolerate it from this one. Well, he denied it of course saying that he had no idea were it came from. He also started crying, and said that maybe his ex did it to start problems between me and him. That could be a very good answer because she was a devious witch that manipulated his daughter and brought harm against the wonderful child. Okay, so I forgave him and let him know that he was going to be SERIOUSLY watched. Well, from then I went snooping through drawers and found a card that was from a "friend" of his that he had while he was deployed (he is in the military). She was begging him not to go, that he was her life, that she loved him. Well, I flew off the handle and probably shouldn't because there was no REAL evidence that he did anything with her while he was gone. Well, that blew over. Now, I have been checking the caller id when I leave and stay overnight at my parents and today I just found that it was cleared. Could be a sign, or not. I also have checked his cell phone list and sometimes he would clear that. I would ask him why he did that and he said that it was because it took up too much memory. Am I making a big deal about this? I feel in my heart that he is wonderful, and he really hasn't given me any signs of cheating. BUT, he has cheated on almost everyone of the past relationships he has had. Although, most of the women he dated were worthless, that still makes me wonder. I have cheated on alot of guys that I have been with but, I think they deserved it too. I would really like some feedback on this issue. Oh, PS.. the reason why we are NOT married is that I am still attending college and my parents are still in somewhat control of me. We are afraid that if we jump the gun TOO soon that it result in disastor between him and my parents.

Welcome to marriagebuilders. The best indicator of a person's future behavior is his past behavior. You say all his other women were worthless. If you stick with this guy, you will be the next worthless one.

Sorry, I am sure you didn't want to hear this, but I don't see a great future for you and this man.

I thought the same thing too until I talked to his daughter about the past relationships. They were horrible to her and to him both. He tells me constantly how happy I make him, and every time I mention anything about him cheating on me he tells me that this is the best thing he has ever had in his life and he is NOT going to screw it up. But, of course he is going to say things like that. I just wish I could know for sure WHAT the man is thinking, ya know.

Hello giterdone,

Welcome to MB.

Well,I read your posts.Allow me to be blunt since I have been here for a relatively long period of time and have heard a lot from a lot.

First of all,I don't know if you were involved with your BF WHILE he was still married,to a "witch" or not <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> but if so,then there isn't much hope for the two of you.What you can do with someone can be done to you,like Dr.Phil says and he is so right.In my opinion you both have a lot of growing up to do.You both have cheated left and right and I have to assume based on your information that neither of you have any idea what it means to be in a committed relationship.Now,you can get all PO'd at me and tell me where to go but I will take that as an admission of what you ALREADY know deep down.BS like," This is the best thing I have ever had in my life and I'm not going to screw it up...." and then show you diferently by his actions is just one red flag that is telling you this man is untrustworthy.He is paying you lip service just to keep you by his side.

In all honesty,you should SERIOUSLY reconsider marrying this man.It's very easy to blame everyone else even the proverbial "worthless" EX Wife/witch that many other woman like to say to ease the guilt they would have by their inappropiate actions but I find that very distasteful and disrespectful of a woman about another woman.

Your BF is the one to be suspicious about.So,you can go on pretending that this guy is so "wonderful" and that it's you against the world and believe every word that falls from his mouth(including the statement that his EX is trying to come between you and him by starting the sex website GIVE ME A BREAK!) or you can take a cold hard look at his ACTIONS.Your BF is sending you ALL KINDS of signs,you are just denying them.

O

I am sorry to tell you this, but he has all the signs of cheating. YOu should continue to watch him, however sometimes it is good to watch and keep quite to find the proof you need.