I pop in here every now and then, things were going so well... at least I thought they were.

WH had an affair with a client two springs ago, went through it all. Stuck it out, really didn't regret it.. until now. Guess I'd better change my name back!!

Two days ago he tells me he is not happy in the M, he wants to separate, he wants a D <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
It has been a really rough month, he has a back injury & has been on pain meds. Disconnected, neither one of us has had much sleep. I am exhausted, still working, taking care of teh house and kids... and him. I have been frustrated as he$% but sticking it out. Thinking this. too, would pass. Tell myself, when he starts feeling better things will be better. Been telling him how much I miss him, no intimacies for awhile, etc. Feeling lonely.

Well he did it again. He had a PA with some OW he met at a business meeting. It was very recently, within the last couple of weeks. This time he went "all the way" (last time he "only" got as far as oral sex). He was with her twice. Couldn't perform well the first time so went back the next day to finish the job! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Believe it or not he is still here, lying in our bed right now. I did drop him off on the side of the road when he 1st told me about the A and then proved it by text messaging those three little words to her and she wrote back the same. I tried calling her but she hung up when she heard my voice. I felt bad for leaving him out in the middle of nowhere and went back and picked him up. He had a nerve block yesterday and it was 27 degrees outside.

How many A can a M take?? What is the magic number? I told him "never again" yet keep finding a deeper threshold. Am I a fool for even letting him be here? We have three beautiful children who were sobbing at the prospect of Daddy leaving, and I am so torn up inside. He says he's so, so sorry. Broke down and sobbed, still says I am "better off without him" (probably true!) and thinks he should move out. Doesn't know if he loves me "them way a man should love his wife". Yet he stays.

Trying to remember my MB principles and use them. Already did the NC thing, plus I think I probably scared the crap out of her yesterday when I called. He said he really felt nothing for her, just stringing her along like when he was a teenager. What kind of woman knowingly sleeps with a married man? He didn't even bother taking off his wedding ring this time!

I know what kind of sad, weak, shell of a man I am married to. Just not sure what to do with him now. Is real recovery possible after two As?

Some background for perspective: I am the primary breadwinner, I pay the bills and support our family, he contributes only about 20% there. Been trying to build his own business for years, lost it after the first A and started over again. Lots of work! He has chronic major depression and is already on two ADs everyday. Now with a back injury taking narcotics and muscle relaxers (for the last few weeks). We are both survivors of child sexual abuse. Married young. Been through a war, many life changes, several family members deaths, a near fatal injury (his), major surgery and rehab (his), SA (his), bankruptcy, a brief EA/PA and now this. I am worn out here! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Well I guess no one is listening this morning...

Just left the pastor's office. Feeling very defeated, crushed, destroyed. He also stressed to WH that he should consider staying in the home and agreeing to counseling. He said he'd go to MC, but not sure if he is staying. Not sure how many times the kids can handle watching Daddy leave.

Why am I even fighting for this? <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Hello, Momma.

Your screen name changed from Sad to Better. I guess that means something!!!

I'm still quite new here and just usually lurking through to pick some good ideas to improve my M since I've been through the torments of a H with an A. It's been 3 1/2 years . . . it's been quite a while but sometimes for me it seems like yesterday!

Hang in there and keep posting. Just want to make sure you know someone's out here listening to you. Some of the experts will be here soon.

~GeminiGemini~

Actually it is back to sad again. New PA last couple of weeks with two encounters and apparently some phone sex. He called her to "break-up" and promised NC, still he wants to leave. Now says he'll spend the night upstairs.

Our pastor friend told him that he should at least attempt counseling. That after 14 yrs it should be his gift to me. WH agrees and have a call into the newest MS the pastor suggested. Said he saw alot of hope here, prayed with us. Not sure if WH is getting any of this, seems dead, flat, empty. Says that if nothing else he really is sorry <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I am here but for the grace of God, and I know that.

Hi Momma's,

I think only you can know what your boundaries are. If you told him never again and then accept this recent heartbreak you are setting yourself up for him to not respect or believe your boundaries, IMHO. If you want him to stay I would insist on NC letter and MC or he goes injury or not.

So sorry you are going through this again. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Well I immediately insisted on NC, which he did very willingly. Don't think this had been going on very long and he kept saying it was "just sex" (whatever that means). We went to our pastor yesterday and have the first appt with a Christian MC today. He slept on the couch last night (after originally saying he was leaving). I am exhausted and confused.

Last night we talked (much more calmly), he caressed my face and kissed me goodnight. I hate him for doing this to me, but I don't know what else to do! Grrr!

OMG girl I have wondered about you.
So sorry to read of all of this.Do they ever learn??

I can only give you support and tell you what others told me,you will know when you have had enough.You do not have to live a unhappy life just because there are kids.You need to be happy.

My H and I seperated in late July,its been just under 6months.He would not change,said he would work on our M but did nothing.I became so depressed and sad all the time and the anger began to consume my life.I was dying.
This week I filed for a D.I feel happy,and alive and at peace.After feeling like this I cant imagine ever wanting to live the way I have for over the past 2yrs.
BTW...my H also had contact again with OW right around the time I moved here.I called her she denied it,but my H said yes she had called him at work one night.Seems to me that when the WS does not do everything to recover the M,they slip right back to what caused all this pain in the first place.After all its like they got away with it once why not try again.

So good to see an update.
Take care

((((hugs)))) gingersnap! I, too, have thought about you!!

This really sucks, and I am sooooo struggling right now!

I am over on the GQII board, though noone wants to deal with me tonight <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Sorry to hear you are D, but glad you are happy!

So tell me what is happening.
Any ideas on what you want to do??
Did your H ever get another job??
Get me all up to date.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Momma have you considered asking him to go to sex addicts support group. I really am confused by his actions to. Why can't he decide what he wants? One thing I have learned is he is right in one aspect sex is not love. I think it is the sex he desires not the relationship that is why it is so easy for him to comply with you request for N/C. I hope the counselor can help you out. I agree with everyone else only you can set your boundries. I know it hurts you to see your children miss their father but what do you think it does to them to see you like this??? Wishing You the Best Of Luck Stay Strong.

OK, here ges the abridged version of the last 1.5 yrs off our lives...

WH and I reconciled, but we stopped counseling very quickly, seemed to be going so well and had the "nothing we can't fix together" mentality. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> FOW got vindictive, he lost his office... you already knew that. This was about July 2003.

In Dec 2003 he finally got a new office, and he really wasn't working at all during that time before. He was SAHD to DD, now 4. One positive thing is that they are very close, but that also sucks right now cause he is not living here. Very, very hard on baby girl! (other two are "sorta ok").

We were in alot of financial trouble. I rearranged my schedule to make him happy, help meet EN of not sleeping alone at night, etc. I lost money when I stopped working night/ weekends, had to work extras hrs to make the same pay.

Mortgage was nearing foreclosure, been threatened with repo on my 10 yr old POS that I had to finance cause I needed a car (my paid for van was dying). My interest rate is 29%!!! Meanwhile WH wants a new car, he was having trouble with his back and getting in and out his little ole Civic...we got him a slightly used Jeep...now another car payment and it guzzles gas!! We went from having two paid for vehicles to two car payments with less income and buried backwards in everything else!!! How dumb?!

WH found a new office space in Dec 2003 (like I said) and it was inside the gym we have been members of for a couple of years. Very reasonable rent and I took the leap of faith and helped him get set back up. Remember, he had no operating capital... I was the bank! With our credit he tried, but could not get even a high risk small business loan (of which I am very glad, I do not want anymore debt!).

Things were going ok. To get the extra money at work, I sought a promotion I eventually got it Nov 1, 2004 (you have to present a package and go before a board and everything). Meanwhile I went and talked to my new boss (got a new one Feb 2004) and got a small raise. Of course the promotion requires extra duties, more meetings and committees, etc. I do like where I work (most days) and wanted to stay there, so I did what I could within that context to get more money to support us. Plus, I am carrying the family's insurance, so can't exactly "jump ship for greener grass"...

So, we have more debt, needing to work more hrs for the smae income, he is starting over, and we are trudging along...

We had a pretty good year, he was sweet, often apologetic. He kept saying he was only here for the love of one woman, thanked me for being strong, for carrying us through etc. I neveer dreamed we'd be back here again! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Yes, I was tired all the time, gained some weight, probably wasn't around as much (duh, someone has to pay the bills) Getting a little resentful, etc. We did still have SF, and we were trying to meet EN, having dates, etc. Ok, I was trying to meet EN...

In Oct 2004 or so, he started with the "I am not happy and I think it is our M". "Maybe I made a mistake coming back here", etc, crap. I told him he hasn't been happy in a long time...just before this we had to get him on a second AD cause he was still depressed all the time. I thought the new AD may have even exacerbated it some, thrown him a little too far back over that line, like over-corrected.

We talked alot, spent more time togehter, etc. I also encouraged him to dig out the crap from his childhood. That night he called a sister and confirmed what he had suspected... his mom had sexually abused him. Then it comes out more about the incest porn his dad kept (we had already known his sisters were sexually abused by their father)... and FTR, my children do not spend ANY alone time with FIL or MIL, in fact they hardly see them at all. It was a sick, messed up house! Still, no MC, no IC, he was "not comfortable" talking with anyone else about all this. We trudge on.

Well around that time he was having heart trouble, had a heart cath and all. He has a funky arrythmia, but will be ok. Then he develops worsening back pain. He keeps trying to ice it, massage it, adjust it, whatever. By the time he started seeking help for it, the holiday were here. Very hard to get anything done around this time. I even took him to the ER one night, just before New Years, he kept crying out in his sleep, he was miserable, I was miserable, couldn't take it!

It was just after Christmas that he started having an EA/PA with a "new girl" at the gym. I was buying him pain killers and meeting all kinds of needs around here, wearing myslef thin doing it and he is out screwing around!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Of course he is sullen, withdrawn, moody. He is angry at me, the kids, he was a bear to live with. Poor naive me thought it was a combo of pain, no sleep and lots of narcotics... never knew the heap of guilt.

After one particularly bad day (Sat Jan 15, 05), I went to him (at his office) and said "I am done". "You are mean, moody, haven't done a thing around the house, you are withdrawn from me and the kids, you haven't touched me in over a month, I am done". He says "I'm done too" and my stomach sinks. Says I am not happy and I want a D... WTH?!

Now I meant: Stop being a PITA, I know you are in pain but you are treating everyone terribly and it is not fair. I was wearing myslef flat out taking care of it all, esp him and his pain. I have often had to put on the man's shoes for him!!! BTW, they found out he has two herniated discs, same place he was injured when he fell and broke his back almost 7 years ago. He has an incredible amount of nerve damage, nnumbness, tingling, it isn't good long-term.

Anyway... he swears he is not having an A, blah,blah,blah. Come to find out Mon that he is. he txt pgs her I love you to prove it!!!! (#%^#%&@*&) I call her, he yells hang up, I put him out on the side of the road and fought the urge to run him over!! Ended up picking him back up. He makes up a whole story, fake name, fake place of employment, all. I even went by that place the next day and he begged me not to go in... now I know why! He said it was over, it was "just sex", whatever.

Well we go a few rounds, I am feeling absolutely blown out the water. I do find out two days later that he was lying through his teeeth. I figured out exactly who it was, and I wish that I was more surprised. I have been telling him that I was uncomfortable with her from the day I met her. I told him "watch her, she has a crush on you" and I get "we are just friends"!!!! GRRR! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> This OW was dating my WH, another MM who she claimed to be engaged to & pregnant by (but "lost the baby") and I think she may be messing around with the husband owner of the gym!! I was so right on!

The night I found out who it really was he comes back over here. Tells me he is not going to stop seeing her and he is "in love with her" <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> Starts taunting me that they had her cell phone number changed so I wouldn't have it. I grabbed the cell phone off his hip and he tackles me! I had him arrested, he spent the night in jail. I did not press charges, though, things got out of hand on all sides. She starts text pging me at 5 am, I never went to bed that night. She is nuts!

I went to pick him up the next am. Really did feel bad, never really wanted him arrested. He was picked up for driving under suspension, his fault, not mine! My pride couldn't handle OW picking him up from jail, rescuing him from evil W's clutches.

We acted like children most of the day, he even called the police on me cause I was "harassing" him but we left the scene before they came. Went to a MC session that afternoon. His last words there were "I want a D"... then he has the ba@$% to follow me out to my car and ask for $$$!! HAHAHAHAHA! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

So here we are a week later. He is still here every morning to get the kids off to school and comes by every evening til after they are in bed. I am not particularly happy with that situation at all. He went and talked with our pastor yesterday, took himself to church Sunday (me and 6 kids fr DD's 13th b-day party went to the later service.) We have a MC appt tomorrow. He says we are "healing" and "moving forward" whatever that means.

I am not eating, sleeping or much else. I am very depressed and going to the doc's today for some AD and maybe a sleeping pill. I want to go back to work by Saturday. I am trying to do it all, but I am also grieving... it is such a mess!

BTW, while I was typing this out the county sheriffs office called to ask about taking pics of the bruises and pressing charges. I told her I did not wish to pursue this, as I was not afraid of him. She was nice, said it would remain on file for attys, etc. WH wants to know why I didn't press charges???!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> Told him I did not see a point, but if he ever touched me again he would rot there.

OK, Ginger, remember,you asked!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

WOW
I am so sorry all of this has happened.It just makes me feel more and more the value of "true recovery"...in other words both partners doing everything in their power to make the M better.Going to councling to have the tools and help you need.It shows me once again that sweeping it under the rug just wont work.

I am so sorry that you have had to take the burden of all the finaces also.How many women on this board are doing that very thing,it is shocking to me.

So what is your next step.What are your plans.

If there is one thing I am learning it is that "I" dont have to live an unhappy life.Staying married because of the kids is not always the healthy way to go.

I never thought of all the people I have met here on MB that I would be the one getting a D but I have decided to live a good life,a happy life and no longer be misserable.

I think its time for you to look at what is best for YOU,he sounds like a very selfish man.Any man that will cheat,get everything back into his life that he has lost and then cheat again is nothing but selfish.

Well just got back from the doc's and got an AD... here's to brighter days.

WH was here w/the kids for a little while so I could go to the doctor. Says he is trying to be patient and understanding... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Told him it feels like "too little too late" at this point. He says "I know". I asked him where are we going with this, he says "I don't know"

I don't know where I am going here! Was trying to implement a Plan B, wrote him a "I set you free" letter and all, but he is always here..! Too mad and depressed still to Plan A at the moment, hard time faking anything! Yes, I love him, he says he loves me... but he has stopped short of committing to anything major and I am not sure what I want right now.

He is going to church (ok, once!) and reading a book given to him by our pastor. Says he wants to go to Promise Keepers, learn to be a "real Christian man", going to MC w me BUT he is still not saying "let's work on this M, let's move forward together"... right now it is "I want us to heal"... told him last night I am NOT satisfied to be his co-parent.

Feel like I am choking on that elephant... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

So if you stopped and really thought about it was is it that YOU want??

Maybe some time apart would help.That is what I did.We have been seperated for 6m.During this time I was able to see how much my H really wanted the M to work.Remember for me actions speak louder than words.He was still all talk no action.I decided not to spend another 2yrs waiting around for him to decide that I was worth it.

I look at it like this.NOW he will have NO choice but to do some action behind those words if he really wants me in his life.He will have to treat me like anyone else he might want to pursue for a relationship.
This is the first time I have seen any reaction out of him and still its not enough.

Think about what is best for you.

Trying to, really am...

The kids are so young and this is tearing them apart. Even last night baby girl came down as H was leaving and was crying and asking him why he has to go... Keep in mind I did not throw him out, he left.

I am trying not to push much at this point (ok, except with NC w OW and really, really wanting him to leave that office). But I am trying not to push any major issues as I know my head is not clear at all.

In fact, the doc gave me some Phenergan to take w the AD and I am so hung over right this minute! Better take a 1/2 tonight... yikes, that is some strong stuff! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Going to MC this afternoon, we will see how it goes. And while he is out, he is still calling and "checking in"..he called this am "just to see how you are doing" and then talking about his appts and stuff.. sure soundslikemhe is still asking me to hang around and meet alot of EN though he is saying he isn't able to meet any of mine. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I did not move out on my own with out some help.
My H would tell me how sick he was of this family,of me everything how he wanted to be alone.He kept telling me I needed to move so one day I did.

He was then happy,now he had what he wanted,he was alone yet married.He could come around when it was convinent for him,but what about me?? It was the same old thing,he came here I did everything to make him happy and then he would leave and I would feel even more empty than before.I have lived most all my life giving to him with little to no return.
He has even told me that he could not be the kind of man I needed or wanted.Yet he still wanted me around.

He has the best of both worlds right now,you the kids and his little bit of freedom.

I would suggest a mini plan B.In other words you do not contact him,you do nothing for him when he is around start to live your life for you.People on this forum had told me this for so long and I did not know how to do it.But I started to,I filed for a D and then and only then is when I have gotten a reaction from my H.
Still he does not put the effort into me like he could if I was truly what he wanted.
Even after the D I no longer look at it as being to late,it could be nothing more than a brand new beginning for us.But at this point it is all up to my H,not me.I have done all I can.
There comes a point when you are no longer meeting there EN's but you are simply thier doormat.

Please take care of you.If he wants you he will come around.The kids will be fine.My 23yr old D told me that growing up in a house where she knew her parents did not get along but pretended all was fine was awful,she would have rather had 2 parents that loved them and were happy,even if it meant living apart.Think about that.

Well I am trying to formulate some sort of plan. Here is my evening:

I call and he is out our house already, he tells me it costs $40 to get just 25 pain pills (I threw his others out the window last week, but I did pay for them!) and he says something mean & derogatory. I say "we are not going to talk if you are going to drag up things to beat me up with" and he says "not hard" so I hang up.

I get home, sit down and say "I want to talk to you, but not if you are going to drag up things to attack me with" He apologizes, says he needs time to think about things MC said, like it will take a commitment on his part as well as mine, but we can have the "perfect marriage" we both want. He is still saying there are "things I don't agree with", like God's word that He intends us to be together for life. He is trying to mold the Word to fit what he wants and "feels" right now, yet claiming to want to grow into a good Christian man. The MC told him it is not about what he feels, but what the Lord says... At one point during the session WH got up to walk out at the same time I was redying to leave... he attacked me verbally and I was not sittng there and listening. We did make it through...

Anyway... I spoke to the gym mgr today, she told me that someone else started speaking about OW's pregnancy and that they are sure she was lying. I feel the exact same way, but have not spoken to any of these people about it, though I did tell WH I beleived that she was lying about it all. I told him about this becasue I know SHE will hear it eventually and want to blame me. I wanted WH to hear it from me before it gets back to him and he believes the mess.

He got very angry, said he is tired of all these people talking about her (OW) behind her back. They are apparently talking about her alot and he is mad that they are being "ninnies" about her but not talking about him?!?!

I told him this was normal, human nature... esp for women. I also told him that he needs to realize that she has been playing alot of drama up since she got there (the MM "fiancee" she was supposedly pregnant with, the "abusive" ex husband, the MM's W calling up there mad cause OW is calling her house from there, and then her A w/ my WH) He left here pissed at me about her cause "she did nothing to deserve this"!!!!!!! Uh, yeah, she's a saint with all the MM she's sleeping with, poor thing!

He calls me back and says he is sending an email to the owner of the gym...OK, what for? Wellhe says he is going to tell them to "knock it off"...I said, yep, that'll work! I keep asking him "if you don't care about her then why are you trying to defneding her honor"... I already know that answer!!

Well he went to the gym to "talk to someone", basically one of the people spreading the rumors. What is sad,is that most ofwaht is being said is 100% true. He keeps talking about the way things are spreading, etc... well if you didn't have an A w/ a woman at work we wouldn't have this problem, now would we?!

OK, now really do want to KILL HIM with kindness!!

I know, if I can get my head a litlte clearer (a few more days on this AD) then I can move forward some. Actaully returned many phone calls today (been avoiding everyone) and left the house, even took the girls shopping and to dinner. And tomorrow, by God, I amgoing to work!!! Yeah!!!

Any feedback or thoughts form others on the above issues?

OK guys, HELP!! I am at work, it is kinda quiet, head is starting to clear and I am getting sick to my stomach thinking of WH and OW! GAG!! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I hate this!! I want to puke, it should have NEVER happened again!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Seriously, I am walking around here trying to choke it down. I hate this part!! I do know that I eventually got to the point before that it didn't feel like this, seeing them together in my head over and over...I do realize this can and will pass... I guess in some small way that helps, but I am feeling so sick right now!

This is where the aftermath of waves starts crashing over my head, except this time I do not quite have WH home and trying to make it all better. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Breathe... in and out, in and out...

He did come back last night, was there til almost 1am watching TV. I went to bed around 11pm, only remember him leaving cause baby girl was still up and he put her bed with me. After a few minutes she wanted to call him and I let her.

Today I have spoken to him a couple of times. The next to the last time he called be "babe" before he got off the phone. I called him back and just said "you know I still love you, right?" and he seemed a little (pleasantly) surprised and said "I love you too". Have no idea what that means or where it is going, just thought he should know I was having a moment of "warm fuzzies"... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

But here is the part where the anger comes away some and all this pain and sadness is revealed. I would almost rather have the anger, in some ways I can control that part better!

He reiterated to me last night that he does not love her, but he does "care about her feelings", whatever! I am waiting for the day she is revealed to him in full light for the evil whore she really is!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> That would make me feel so much better! So sad, but true. He also says he will do the "homework" the MC gave us: describe the "perfect" marriage... if you could wake up tomorrow and it be everything you wanted, what would that look like? He seems to think he will have a harder time with that than I will, probably right.

I also told him I miss feeling special to him. There was a time, long ago, when I felt very loved and protected by this man. When no other man could even come up and talk to me without some jelious looks and my H walking right up and standing near his "special prize". I told him I want THAT back.

The MC described in biblical times a man placing a robe over his new bride to show love, protection and ownership... but ownership in a loving way, "this is so special to me that I want no one else to touch it" sorta thing. I miss that terribly!! I now realize that over the time since H's accident and the role reversals, that sense of balance, that sense of protetionism, has been lost. THAT is what I want back in my life. In some small way I believe it is possible... even just the faith of a mustard seed...

Well I am home now. I am actually incredibly proud of myself! I made it through the evening without any LBs!!! OK, he was only here 45 minutes after I got home from work, but it was still peaceful. Gotta savor those little victories! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I spoke with a close family friend tonight, she is like a surrogate mother...my own Mom has come right out and opened her mouth and said my H would molest my children!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> My mom is psycho BTW, so please don't buy that crap. She also told me my father did not molest me... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> She is dillusional at best...

Anyway, this friend has been there, done that including leaving an abusive spouse who had multiple As. She eventually found love and had a M of her dreams, in the true Christian sense... but it was short. Her beloved H died of liver cancer a 2 1/2 years ago. Still, she gave me the courage to stay the course, to stand by what I believe and insist upon having the M I deserve and nothing less. If WH can't give me that, then I deserve it from someone else....

I looked him right in the eye the entire time he was here. Looked right at him when he was talking about his day. If he is going to break this family up, it is not because I did not give it everything I have and then some. May God bless you all, keep praying...it can be done!! I do believe!! OK, and if not with him than another soul... right?! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You sound better.

I lived in unhappiness for so long it became normal.Now that I truly do feel happy it pains me to read what is going on in your life.

You dont deserve this treatment.Give him a time line of when you expect to see changes.Do not allow him to come home until it is done.Set your boundries.

I never did any of this and all it did was bring me further and further down.
We are special and we deserve to be treated that way.Nothing you have ever done justifies the way he is treating you.

My H always stuck up for OW also.Seemed more concerned about protecting her than me.I wanted all that you want but he was unable to deliever.

Could he still?? Sure if he truly wanted to.But he does nothing to change,all he does is tell me he loves me.The words are not enough anymore.

You need to be happy.Once you are he will see it and then maybe then he will began to change.

Dont settle!!!!!!!!