Well, I don't know how BIG of a step it was, but I made an appointment with a counselor today. The appointment is for Monday morning. I think I need an anti-depressant. I sleep too much. I can't get much going at work. I can't get much accomplished at home. But I am less stressed. Does this make sense? Less stress, but still depressed?<P>And yet...I have all of you to listen and to talk to and this has been so helpful. Thank you all!<P>I don't know where the W and I are headed. All is not lost...I look forward to the beauty of each new day (if I could only get out of bed to view it Everything seems so scary and yet, I have Him and all of you and I am comforted.<P>I have always been one to believe that there is so much to do and see in this life and so little time. Since leaving my parents home I have been hell bent on inhaling the world and dancing inside the fire. Now I am starting to think that the the roar of the flames and the glowing light are much more beautiful from the outside (and much less dangerous) For once in my life I am seeing the value of simplicity.<P>I want my marriage to work and I will do what I need to do to save it. What is making the fight a little easier is this shift in my paradigm. I no longer see a rush to make it work. I understand that things take place in His time and according to His will. I do not mean to say that I am sitting back and doing nothing. Quite the opposite really. I am gaining the peace of mind to actually pause, breathe and then to concentrate on the problem.<P>I credit this forum for giving my the time to think and to ponder and to see what others are thinking and doing. There are never any exact answers and never any real absolutions, but there is always hope here. There is always Love and I am grateful.<P>My advice to everyone...Trust in Him, whoever He may be to you. Trust in yourselves. Have faith...that's what it's for...to keep us going in times of great distress. Keep in touch here.<P>I wish all of you the best!!<BR>God Bless you all!!<P>Peter<P>------------------<BR>It is more noble to devote yourself to the cause of a loved one than to endeavor to feed the massses of starving mouths.

Peter,<P>You have reached a state of awareness few on this board are at.... <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I no longer see a rush to make it work. I understand that things take place in His time and according to His will.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>...this is the most profound understanding of all that there is here at MB and for life! Congratulations... <P>I found this state of awareness around Thanksgiving... before that...I was giving myself to the powers of the world... not to His spirit! Now I will myself in his footsteps...<P>Thanks for your reply to my "first session post"... <P>Jim

Peter,<P>You ARE there...I wish I was there. I am trying to be there...but, sadly, I am not there.<P>The peace you are describing...I am still praying for that. You are doing great and for that I am very glad!<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

You are all so good to me. Thank you Jim and "Roll". Yet there is still much to be done. I look forward to the challenge though. God bless you all.<P>------------------<BR>"Love isn't someplace that we fall, it's something that we do"--Clint Black