I took my placement test yesterday,felt good because I tested into the classes I needed which means I will not have to take lower classes and work up,which boils down to no waisted time.So I felt good about this being that I have not been to school since the 70's.I guess doing all that homework w/the kids payed off.....LOL and who said being a mom is not a real job!!

Yes SS I have 2 sons,4 children all together.My oldest son was born when I was just 17yrs old he is almost 28 now.He has a large family and I am proud of him for how he takes care of them.His wife had a little girl when they met and they have 5 children of thier own so all together thats 6,yes my son has 6 kids and 4 of them are boys and they are each just one yr apart in age so you can imagine how much fun we have when they are around.LOL

As for H and doing family things.............I cant say that we do.He happen to be in town on the 4th for business(with his 2nd job)so he celebrated the day w/us.The grandkids loved having grandpa around poor things they cant figure it out why grandpa does not live with grandma.One of my grandsons asked me one day "Grandma you dont love grandpa anymore is that why he doesnt live here" it broke my heart and that was they day I realized how deep a seperation or divorce goes,it does not just effect those two people going thru it,it effects EVERYONE you know that ripple effect.

As for my youngest son he does not live here he is the only one,he is doing much better and I am so happy.He has held a job for almost a yr now and has gotten promoted.

Yes at times I am still lonely but not as much as I use to be.I am learning to be content w/life.I am making plans for my future,not a future w/my H or anyone else just MY future.Going back to school is probably one of the biggest steps to independence I have taken so far,with a degree some day I will be able to take care of myself and that is a good feeling.I do not want to be alone forever and I trust God that he will show me what is best for my life,weather it be getting back together w/my H or moving on to a new relationship.

I took my placement test yesterday, felt good because I tested into the classes I needed which means I will not have to take lower classes and work up,which boils down to no waisted time. So I felt good about this being that I have not been to school since the 70's.I guess doing all that homework w/the kids payed off.....LOL and who said being a mom is not a real job!!

Yippee !!

That sounds really good. I bet you will both love it and hate it. Love knowing you are getting somewhere, hate the homework. LOL. I always hated homework, but it was goof for me.

Yes SS I have 2 sons,4 children all together.My oldest son was born when I was just 17yrs old he is almost 28 now.He has a large family and I am proud of him for how he takes care of them.His wife had a little girl when they met and they have 5 children of thier own so all together thats 6,yes my son has 6 kids and 4 of them are boys and they are each just one yr apart in age so you can imagine how much fun we have when they are around.LOL

Our oldest son is 27, turns 28 in Dec. He has no children yet. However, some of our other children do, so we have three grandchildren. It's fun, isn't it. I notice I don't have the energy I did when I was 30, but then, I don't have to take care of them as much either. I am glad your son is doing so well. I bet you are happy for his stability, and his happiness.

We had 4 boys and 4 girls. the first 4 were about 18 months apart, so we understand how it is when they are all together. Oh Yeah, really exciting.

As for H and doing family things.............I cant say that we do.

That tells me a lot. It is kind of a gauge. You probably know as well as I what it measures.

He happen to be in town on the 4th for business(with his 2nd job)so he celebrated the day w/us.The grandkids loved having grandpa around poor things they cant figure it out why grandpa does not live with grandma. One of my grandsons asked me one day "Grandma you dont love grandpa anymore is that why he doesnt live here" it broke my heart and that was they day I realized how deep a seperation or divorce goes,it does not just effect those two people going thru it,it effects EVERYONE you know that ripple effect.

Ginger, I never could understand how anyone could have an A, and think it wouldn't matter, or that the effects could be taken care of casually, or easily.

I read the ten commandments, and now that I am a little older and a tiny bit wiser, it is easy to see how they are a protction for us, not a list of restrictions. What a great gift God gives us by telling us how to be happy. How much pain, and sorrow come by ignoring his warnings.

I know words won't make things better, or easier for you. I am sure you must ask why a lot. Why he would throw away such a precious and wonderful thing as a marriage and do so much damage to so many lives. It's not just that the kids don't understand. It's the example they get, trying to reconcile in their minds this man that they love and respect, with what he did.

As for my youngest son he does not live here he is the only one,he is doing much better and I am so happy. He has held a job for almost a yr now and has gotten promoted.

Last I remember, he was flirting with trouble. I am so glad he is doing better. I know you worry about yours, like we do ours. Life as an adult isn't as easy as they think it will be, is it.


Yes at times I am still lonely but not as much as I use to be.I am learning to be content w/life.I am making plans for my future, not a future w/my H or anyone else just MY future. Going back to school is probably one of the biggest steps to independence I have taken so far, with a degree some day I will be able to take care of myself and that is a good feeling.

As one who has watched you for a while now, it makes me happy to see you move forward. You don't seem stuck now, and for a while you did. I know it seems like limbo sometimes with your relationship with H, but going to school, and making plans are big steps. I admire your courage, not everyone can do what you are doing.

I do not want to be alone forever and I trust God that he will show me what is best for my life, weather it be getting back together w/my H or moving on to a new relationship.

I would bet he will help you. I suspect he has already in many ways.

Thanks for the update. Our society tends to get into the "hi, how are you/ i'm fine, thanks" mode, and we sometimes take people's word for it that they are fine, when in fact, they are not. I wanted to know.

You are a better person than you sometimes think, and you need to understand that also.

See ya,

SS

Did you get new maids yet, or just decide to sell the big 50,000 sq ft place and get a small 5,000 t0 7,000 ft place you can clean yourself?

SS

Im cleaning myself..........ugggggggg

Its been a long stressful last few days.Its funny how so many times in my life the decissions others make seem to effect me.So here we go again.

I am now all regestered for school,I dont know if I should be happy,scared or Im just numb.Its seems lately I am living someone elses life NOT mine!!!

I keep wondering when I will wake up and everything will be back to how it once was,how I thought my life was suppose to be.

Im cleaning myself..........ugggggggg

Could be worse,
but I'm not sure how. OK, I know, you could have triplets to clean up after.

BTW, I thought I posted yesterday, and came back today and nothing was there. Not sure where it went. It may have even been a good one, but I am not sure. I thought about your situation, and I hope you are still getting something from coming here. I don't mean to keep you coming back if your time could be better spent somewhere else. Just wanted you to know.

Its been a long stressful last few days. Its funny how so many times in my life the decissions others make seem to effect me. So here we go again.

OK, where are we going?

Remember, you can always say no.

I am now all regestered for school,I dont know if I should be happy,scared or Im just numb.Its seems lately I am living someone elses life NOT mine!!!

May as well be happy, because scared and numb are not nearly as fun.

You will do well, and you know it. Rejoice and be glad !!

That, and try not to get too tired going to school, and working too.

I keep wondering when I will wake up and everything will be back to how it once was,how I thought my life was suppose to be.

No change with H?

I have never been able to see very far ahead in my life. However, when I look back, I see where I have gotten lots of help, I see great growth, and I see SOME progress. I know God doesn't intend for D's to happen. He does make good come of bad situations though, if you keep doing all that you can do. School, helping your family, working, and generally doing your best daily are what makes a difference.

I have faith you will do well. It would be hard to change my mind.

SS

SS
It is not a waist of my time to come here and see a post from you.It lets me know that someone still cares.I know many care about me but people tend to drop out of site,they tire of the same old thing and sometimes it just takes longer for some of us to move forward in a new direction than others,for this I thank YOU!!!!

In the situation that is going on right now there is no way I can say "NO" I am the one saving grace in a very bad situation.God will see us thru.

I also look back on my life alot,and wonder why did God think I could handle this rocky road that was laid out for me,I often think of the book of JOB when things are really bad and the Lord saying to him "Well done my good and faithful servant" knowing that God allowed the things to happen to Job because he knew Job would not faulter on his faith.I have gotten closer over the last 2 1/2yrs of wanting to give up then ever before in my life.I know I cant do that but it would be so much easier to give in then to become strong and independent and not allow people to walk all over me and hurt me.

As for my H,I'm not sure things will ever change there.He still is all talk no action.He says he wants to do this or that but can not follow thru when it comes to me.He asks me to move back but I asked him what can he offer me.I let him know that I can sit around for the next 4yrs and hope that he changes,hope that he will make his million that he dreams of OR I can go to school and MAKE things happen in my life,make a better future for myself.
I do not see us getting back together any time soon,and I am not sure how much longer I can live this way.God himself said "It is not good for man to be alone",I dont think he would have said it if it were not true!!!!

I read, but don't have time to answer properly now.

It is so good to see you maintain a good attitude. I know it's difficult, and I know some days are worse than others, but I marvel at how well you do most of the time.

See ya.

SS

No, not good to be alone.

A partner makes it all worth while.

I know it's as hot, or hotter there. Work is nice becasue it's cool at work.

Are you looking foreword to school, or dreading it?

Did you ever put together a Vegas trip?

We are still working on being there in Oct. Will let you know as it gets closer.

SS

Yes it has been hot.I have not been on here for a while and things on this forum have changed again.....LOL

In ways I am looking forward to school,in ways I am wondering what in the world I am doing.

No none of my trips that I had planned for the summer came together,summer is coming to a close but it has been a nice summer.

As each day goes on H and I grow farther apart,soon there will be nothing keeping us together at all.
He was sent papers on child support,this made him so nervous he thought we were D,and he paniced.It turned out that because we are seperated the courts were ording him to pay me child support until the D is final.For the 3 days he thought we were D,he called me all the time,made me a priority,,,,,,,,,,,,,but that faded fast.

I guess that shows me how he really is(like I did not already know)

I did go to a family party on his side of the family,had not seen any of my inlaws for over a yr.They were all so nice to me,told me how disapointed they were in my H,and also said "Ginger your family,your welcome here anytime" that was not what I expected from them.My 2 SIL even told me to quit being a fool and waiting around for him,that he was their brother but they did not respect ANY man that would do something like that to his family,his wife.

So there is a quick update on my life,,,,,,,,,,,,,hows things on your side of town???

Hi,
Maybe I can do a little better post this time.

We had a good vacation. I may send a few details to SAB, and a copy to you - with pictures. Still wondering about it.

In ways I am looking forward to school,in ways I am wondering what in the world I am doing.

You have studied it out, prayed much, and you are making good choices. Perhaps God will perform a miracle for you, perhaps he will leave your H to his poor choices, I do not know. I do believe YOU will do well. This belief is because of how well you have done so far. It is how you rise above the problems, and because of how you don't let the problems define you. I admire and respect your courage.

I know you see the bad parts. I understand it's not like it was, and it's not easy. Don't take this as failure. Understand you can't control him, not at all, but you can be a success anyway. I know you understand with your mind, I pray you understand with your heart. You really are worth so much.
You are.


No none of my trips that I had planned for the summer came together,summer is coming to a close but it has been a nice summer.

You don't talk much about those parts of life. The good parts, the things that make you smile, that give you hope, and faith. I am glad you can say it's been a nice summer.

Sorry about your trip plans. Perhaps the fall will be kinder in that way. We are going to try to be in P Oct 19-22nd. At this point, we have no firm plans, but W says she would be glad to try and meet up with you for lunch, or dinner while we are there. It isn't firm, until reach the city limits, but we hope to make it.

He was sent papers on child support,this made him so nervous he thought we were D,and he paniced.It turned out that because we are seperated the courts were ording him to pay me child support until the D is final.For the 3 days he thought we were D, he called me all the time,made me a priority,,,,,,,,,,,,,but that faded fast.

I guess that shows me how he really is(like I did not already know)

And yet, you still have hope in your heart.

I am not sure what the laws are, and how things need to work, but if you can leave it like it is while you go to school, perhaps it would ease your mind.

Probably you have times when you wish it was finished, and over with. I know there are more feelings than what you type here. Isn't it wonderful that his side of the family loves you. It doesn't surprise me at all. I would be shocked if they did not. See, what I say about you is true, isn't it.
They know it, as well as we here on MB know it.


Our busy season at work is winding down.

No fires close to town right now, none since we got home from vacation. Trying to get back up to speed after being gone. Kids all doing well.

5 married out of 8, youngest son leaving home in Sept. We will only have the twins home after that. Only two, it seems odd after having so many for so long. Easier to travel though.

God be with you always.

SS

Life goes on and kids grow up..........some days I wish for the old times,other days I am glad the kids are grown.
My youngest turned 17 yesterday,,,it does not seem possible.

If you get out this way and have a few extra minutes I would love to meet you and your W in person.I understand about plans tho I never plan to far ahead anymore seems my life changes daily,I have just learned to go with the flow.

Take care SS and send along the vacation pics....

Some days I long for the old days too. When I was about 7, and didn't have a clue how hard things would get.

However, if I was 7 again, I would still have those hard times ahead of me, so maybe being almost 50 is for the best.

I'll bet I have less than 50 years to go !!!

I'm not afraid of going to meet God. It looks like a good deal to me.

I just hope I do well so he isn't disapointed in me. After all he has done for me, I don't want to let him down.

Still no vacation pics. I was going to work on it over the weekend, but you know how it goes some times.

At least we have some clouds, and rain, and it's only in the 90's now. That 115 for two weeks was hard to take.

What should the temp be in mid Oct?
I doubt if it will be cool yet, but hope it is low 80's or high 70's at least. Much better than 90's

I have a trade show this week and will be out of town again. What with getting ready and leaving Wed afternoon, not sure how much I will be on.

You ready for school?

I'm getting excited for you. This is so cool that you can do this. I mean, it will be hard, but think of how excited you will be when you graduate.

Hope your week goes well. I'll be back Monday, but then gone to LV on Tues for the day. Aghhhhhh, I hate being on the go so much. Oh well, complaining never helped much.

Anyway, if I don't post much, it's just because of all the travel.

God be with you.

SS

Dont count on 80's in Oct here.....LOL,it might be 90's during the day and dipping down for cool evening but who knows the weather has been so strange this year it could be snowing in Oct...LOL

I talked to SwH last week she wanted me to tell you hello and let you know she is doing well,started her new job and so far so good and is hanging in there as far as her M is concerned.

As for school,,,,,,,,,,no I am not ready but it will come weather I want it to or not.Yes the day I graduate I will probably be smiling from ear to ear between my tears.This is something I never thought I would do,I pray for strength and guidance thru the next few yrs for of my life.

No change in my M situation but for now its not a priority for me,I know that sounds bad but I have no more energy to put into it,no more tears to cry,no more anything.I still get angry at times but even that is not as often as it use to be.

I am a great example of the fact that it takes 2 to recover.One spouse alone can not clean up the damage of an A.
Take care SS,be safe in your travels and I look forward to hearing from you again.

Dont count on 80's in Oct here.....LOL,it might be 90's during the day and dipping down for cool evening but who knows the weather has been so strange this year it could be snowing in Oct...LOL

I would take snow - but the drive home could be rough. Oh well, maybe I could extend my stay. I wonder if DIL would get sick of us after a couple of weeks.

I was afraid you would say 90's. Oh well, there are always the mountains. I could come home through Flag.

I talked to SwH last week she wanted me to tell you hello and let you know she is doing well,started her new job and so far so good and is hanging in there as far as her M is concerned.

I think about her. She wasn't getting much help from MB there for a while. Thanks for letting me know. I still pray for her. I hope this new job works better, and that they aren't so demanding. It's one thing if they let you agree to it up front, and pay you for it, but when they just take, take, take......... well, you know.


As for school,,,,,,,,,,no I am not ready but it will come weather I want it to or not. Yes the day I graduate I will probably be smiling from ear to ear between my tears. This is something I never thought I would do, I pray for strength and guidance thru the next few yrs for of my life.

We pray for the same for you. It will be a happy day, and I understand your comment about smiling between the tears. I think the kids will be proud of you too. I hope your H gets it.......then he will be proud. In fact, I hope he gets it so well that he is still with you then........In the city.

No change in my M situation but for now its not a priority for me, I know that sounds bad but I have no more energy to put into it, no more tears to cry, no more anything.I still get angry at times but even that is not as often as it use to be.

Put your energy into school, see what happens. Take some Psych classes......see if you can figure out H. Maybe they will teach you how to get him to do anything you want him to. I think my W and daughters took that class.


I am a great example of the fact that it takes 2 to recover.One spouse alone can not clean up the damage of an A.


You are right. It does take two. I still haven't figured out how come it took me so long to "get it."

I still hold out hope for your H. After all, he isn't as old as I was when I finally figured it out. But then, I didn't have an A, and I was trying to figure it out all that time.

It's been cool here lately. Only in the 90's. Rain 3 or 4 days a week to keep it cooler. What a nice summer. I can say that now, but those 115 deg weeks in July almost killed us.

Hope the kids and grand kids are all well. You too.
Glad the trip photos worked. Reports I got from others said the links worked for them, so now I wonder what happened??

I am not much of a tech peson, so I don't have a good idea.

It is good to have a better idea of the people we talk to.
Makes it easier to type sometimes.

Have you been to Yellowstone?

SS

Put your energy into school, see what happens. Take some Psych classes......see if you can figure out H. Maybe they will teach you how to get him to do anything you want him to. I think my W and daughters took that class.

I'm a PSYCH major...didn't work for me. Maybe it'll work for you.

Something made me login today. Not sure why. Glad to see you having something to look forward to. Just thought I'd touch base again. I feel lonely today.

You're doing well Ginger. I'm so proud of you and how far you've come. Give your youngest a Bday hug from me.

Take good care my friend. Email me sometime.

SAB

Getting hot again, the mountains look good.

Are you getting excited yet for school?

SS

Should I worry?

SS