MY Dday was 10/31. He promise no contact and although he has not physically seen her since she lives in another state and has not traveled there, I have found out there has been a few e-mails, fed-ex and I retrieved a message from his cell phone that said,"I love you and I think about you all the time" blah, blah... I was histerical when I found this out. I couldn't help but lash out in a very angry outburst! I have been in a major depression for the last couple of years related to menopause. I started counceling in November. He just started the last 2 weeks. I am getting a lot of mixed messages. My therapist doesn't think that it is reasonable to expect no contact and that checking up on him is a bad thing for me. I am full of anxiety. He says he is sorry that he has hurt me. He says he has been unhappy with me for a while. I've been through a lot of physical problems as well as dealing with a 11 year old boy with ADHD. My husband traveled alot over the past 10 years and maybe we just lost touch. I love him, but he has been hard to live with. Please help!!I've read all the books. Nothing is helping me feel better

Welcome to marriagebuilders. Luckily you have found us. It is very miserable when you first find out, but does get much better.

Start reading all of the information here and stick with us. We have been through the same misery and understand.

MB believes that it is extremely difficult for your husband and you to recover your marriage as long as there is contact with the OW.

You might want to post on general questions as weekends are slow and there is more traffic there.