i am seperated due to cindy's infidelities and i have noone to confide in or talk to except for male friends who say"f...her"...i need more than that...i am emotionally paralyzed, cant afford a shrink and she took me off her insurance policy ....i feel like nothanging around this planet any longer ...it has been since sept when she kicked me out and i am only marginally better

Go to a church and ask to speak to a MC. Get in the phone book and look up some now! It's hard I know. Sometimes friend just don't understand.

You will get through it! I promise you! I was completely devasted when my wife did this to me not once but 3 times! This time was the worst but I am getting better.

You probably aren't sleeping, or eating. Your hands are probably shaking and you are sick to your stomach. Your mind races, you want to cry, you want to scream. All normal reactions.

I am not an expert, just a betrayed spouse. Reach out to people. Close friends, family, church. There are free counseling services out there. Use this web site. Email me!!! I will listen and help you.

Remember, you will get through it. Take charge of yourself as you are the only person you control.

Hang in there!!!

KA,

You are NOT alone. You are among those who have been dealing with these issues for qyite some time. Waaay longer than we want to, that's for sure. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Ok, now you need t/d this on a tight budget. Been there, dun that....

1. Read the concepts section above
2. Take the emotional needs questionnaire.
first as yourself, 2nd as your W (dont' get dressed up as her but answer with her personality).

3. Either purchase or go to the library and read the books: Surviving an Affair and His Needs/Her Needs (both are by Dr W. Harley). This is for starters. Must reads.

4. Keep a journal of time, dates and events. Painful but helpful.

5. Apply what you are learning.

6. Learn how to reverse babble.

7. See if you can get free counseling from a local support group for you in your area. There c/b support groups for dada as well.

8. If you have children, reassure them of your love and that you won't abandon them.

9. Secure your finances to protect you and your family.

10. Tell us your full story so we can help.

Is that enough to keep you busy for a while? Trust me, you won't feel alone for long. YOU got a lot of work t/d.

take care,
L.