February 2004 myhusband told me he wasn't happy and wanted to go our separate ways seeing if we could still be friends in our joint but separte rasing of the kids. He said he assumed I too wanted out. I told him i wasn't happy with how things had been going but i wanted totry at gettng better. i asked him if there was someone else he wanted to be with, he said no. He suggested we talk to our pastor which we did. To make a long story short throughout the last year I shaped up, lost 80 pounds, got a good paying parttime job (husband is working at a a start up venture with no income) and have tried to change how i apporoach life and our marriage. Througout he ahs refused to work on things, insisiting heis trying but no longer loves me and that i deserve so much better than he. He says he is holding me back. He continually taklked aout leaving but never did. Two weeks ago he told me about her. A woman we both knew from college. he better than I. they reconnected at out reunion in 2002 and have been chatting and no he is in love. he has lied to me for over a year and an half. we have three children 17/12/6. he moved out last week. the kids are confused, we never fought. he says he needs time to think. i think he is backing out the door. he says he loves her. she is diviorcing her husband which will be her second divorce. my struggle is that i want to work on our marriage. if he can leave her i want to see if we can't fix our problems. my fear is that her pull and his desire is to o strong. i believe he feels he has found his soul mate. is there anyhelp out there. i am dying inside. do they ever see the light and come back?

I apologise for no one responding sooner. The short answer to your questions is yes, there is hope. You have come to the right place.

Affairs do not usually last and many times a marriage can even be stronger. Here is where you can find the tools that you will need to fight for your family and your marriage. Go ahead and post your story on General Questions II and others will be there to help guide you.

I am so sorry for the pain that you are going through. All of the things that your husband has said have been said before. He is basically in a delusional, addicted state which we call the "fog" around here. Sadly, it is very common.

Welcome to marriagebuilders. It is a great place to be under the circumstance.

Try posting on general questions, and if you get no answers, bump your own thread.

Chances are very good that your husband will be back, so take heart.

bump ^

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