NDT
So sad you are having to go through this but it is also good you caught it in time before a full blown EA\PA relationship emerged. Currently he has fantasies about his OW, and was starting to act on them to make them real. He hoped! His fantasy is just that a fantasy but in his fog he does not see that. Unfortunately during this fog stage you have to be the strength and guidance demanding what you need to continue the marriage. You may need to set the game plan of No Contact and insist he write it and you send it to her. There is nothing wrong with telling him you love him, want to keep this marriage alive, but you also have to be yourself, out for what is best for you and the marriage, plus, be the guiding light for him out of the fog. Tough task considering you were the one hurt and betrayed! After your husband emerges from the fog then the real rebuilding of your relationship can begin. He may always have occasional fantasies about her but over time will realize what he already has in his woman, what an idiot he has been, and what he almost did was not worth it!
Hang in there, be strong, be direct, be demanding, and most of all be honest to yourself and to him about this whole sordid mess and let him know what will happen if he continues on down the path he is on. There will be times you will have to poke that "carrot on a stick" into the fog to attract his attention, and there will be times you suspect he has fallen back but if your goal is to rebuild your marriage then you are the one who must be the strength and guide him where he needs to be.
I know.... Why Me???? I was the one who has been dumped on! Well maybe were the ones who see the light of day even when it is cloudy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
SM
<small>[ February 11, 2005, 03:54 PM: Message edited by: SilentMisery ]</small>
